my first camhs call

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  1. Contemplator
    starrybisexual / Jul 16 2020 10.35

    so the night before i had found out that my sister is self-harming and i slept for less than 2 hrs becsuse of that. as a result, in my call, i mentioned my sister n they wanted to make a safety plan for her. i felt like i hadn't spoken about myself enough n then got really really upset. my sister is rude to me everyday and im going thru so much yet im also trying to help my sister by pretending to be a random nice person online because i know she wouldnt want me to know. i cant help but find it unfair that shes going to get support quickly when ive taken months and months trying and trying and she has no idea and im literally hurting inside😭😭😭. i want someone to help me.

    tugce

  2. Wallflower
    OliverTheTransGuy / Jul 17 2020 23.51

    Hi. I had a “friend” who basically sh for attention (not that that makes it better) and I haven’t gotten support until last week. I have really bad anxiety and it turns out that friend caused me to have a minor amount of trauma. My mental health is pretty bad but I don’t like talking about it so nobody really knows how bad it actually is. That “friend” litterally made everything so much worse for me yet she got into therapy really quickly and gets supported. I litterally supported her through everything even though it was making me worse and she would never listen to me when I tried to open up to her. I can’t go near certain things now and struggle to hear certain songs as they just remind me of her and I hate it. You didn’t need to know all of that. Sorry but I never really get to or like to talk about it but I want you to know you’re not alone.

    -Noah

  3. Contemplator
    OliverTheTransGuy / Jul 17 2020 23.51

    Hi. I had a “friend” who basically sh for attention (not that that makes it better) and I haven’t gotten support until last week. I have really bad anxiety and it turns out that friend caused me to have a minor amount of trauma. My mental health is pretty bad but I don’t like talking about it so nobody really knows how bad it actually is. That “friend” litterally made everything so much worse for me yet she got into therapy really quickly and gets supported. I litterally supported her through everything even though it was making me worse and she would never listen to me when I tried to open up to her. I can’t go near certain things now and struggle to hear certain songs as they just remind me of her and I hate it. You didn’t need to know all of that. Sorry but I never really get to or like to talk about it but I want you to know you’re not alone.

    -Noah

    starrybisexual / Jul 18 2020 10.05

    thankyou. i'm so sorry that that happened to you. im slowly managing to stop my sister self-harming and subtedly checking up on her and it hurts because i know she doesnt care about me and shes made my life a misery. whenever i had panic attacks, she would tell me to stop being so stupid. it's just i don't want to have her suffering no matter what because shes my sister but it hurts that she doesnt care about me😭😭😭😭

  4. Wallflower
    OliverTheTransGuy / Jul 18 2020 23.33

    Aww. You do not deserve to be going through this! You’re being such a good sister!

  5. Contemplator
    OliverTheTransGuy / Jul 18 2020 23.33

    Aww. You do not deserve to be going through this! You’re being such a good sister!

    starrybisexual / Jul 19 2020 10.13

    thanks, what if camhs dont care abt me

  6. Wallflower
    OliverTheTransGuy / Jul 20 2020 22.22

    They will. Also if you want to talk I’ll be more than happy to! Sorry it’s taken me a while to reply but I’ve been really busy recently!

    Hope you’re okay!

    Noah

  7. Contemplator
    OliverTheTransGuy / Jul 20 2020 22.22

    They will. Also if you want to talk I’ll be more than happy to! Sorry it’s taken me a while to reply but I’ve been really busy recently!

    Hope you’re okay!

    Noah

    starrybisexual / Jul 20 2020 23.20

    thankyou.

    i guess im just worried about a lot.

    theres so much that could go wrong.

  8. Wallflower
    OliverTheTransGuy / Jul 21 2020 0.07

    Do you overthink things a lot? I’m just saying as it sounds as if you might have anxiety. I can’t diagnose you or anything but I overthink things a lot and often put myself down compared to other people and stuff like that. I always think the worse possible thing is going to happen even though it won’t. The way I get through it is taking a step back, realise the likely hood of the worst situation is extremely low and carry on with what I’m doing. It does’t work all the time but it can help.

    Hope this helps!

    Noah

  9. Contemplator
    OliverTheTransGuy / Jul 21 2020 0.07

    Do you overthink things a lot? I’m just saying as it sounds as if you might have anxiety. I can’t diagnose you or anything but I overthink things a lot and often put myself down compared to other people and stuff like that. I always think the worse possible thing is going to happen even though it won’t. The way I get through it is taking a step back, realise the likely hood of the worst situation is extremely low and carry on with what I’m doing. It does’t work all the time but it can help.

    Hope this helps!

    Noah

    starrybisexual / Jul 21 2020 10.20

    thankyou. yes ive worked out everything that could possibly go wrong.

    1) internet might not work cos vid call

    2) dad might hear wen i speak by myself

    3) won't b able to speak in front of dad if they hav him there for part pf it

    4) will i hav courage to read out what i wrote to them

    5) will my mum manage to get my sister to leave the house

    6) will my sister cause trouble

  10. Wallflower
    OliverTheTransGuy / Jul 21 2020 23.32

    I don’t think you have to have an adult with you. I have a counciller (not with CAMHS) and it‘s ) just us without my parents or anyone. I have dodgy internet as well and I get worried about it but I’m sure they’ll call you back if it does drop out and it won’t be your fault anyway. I also get scared that my parents are going to hear. Do the call in a place that’s out of the way or has a lot of soundproofing. They’ll listen to you so just explain to them how you feel. You don’t ave to tell them everything at once you can spread it out a bit.

    Whatever your sister does just remeber you’re doing the right things and it’s not your fault if she causes trouble. I don’t have any siblings so I can’t really imagine how it feels to be in your situation but you’re being a really good sister and I’m sure she appreciates it even if she’d never say it.

    Hope you’re doing well!

    Noah

  11. Contemplator
    OliverTheTransGuy / Jul 21 2020 23.32

    I don’t think you have to have an adult with you. I have a counciller (not with CAMHS) and it‘s ) just us without my parents or anyone. I have dodgy internet as well and I get worried about it but I’m sure they’ll call you back if it does drop out and it won’t be your fault anyway. I also get scared that my parents are going to hear. Do the call in a place that’s out of the way or has a lot of soundproofing. They’ll listen to you so just explain to them how you feel. You don’t ave to tell them everything at once you can spread it out a bit.

    Whatever your sister does just remeber you’re doing the right things and it’s not your fault if she causes trouble. I don’t have any siblings so I can’t really imagine how it feels to be in your situation but you’re being a really good sister and I’m sure she appreciates it even if she’d never say it.

    Hope you’re doing well!

    Noah

    starrybisexual / Jul 22 2020 15.47

    thanku! i had the assessment today n i think it went well!!! 👍👍👍

    my sister is being so horrible to me though. like she says stuff like "youre selfish for talking about your emotions when people are dying", "youre so weak", "stop attention-seeking", "you literally hav nothing to worry about".

    we're twins which is why it is harder haha. she mocks me for EVERYTHING when all ive ever wanted is to help her🥴🥴🥴🥴

    hope youre doing well too

    tugce

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