Hey, you've most likely heard about what's going on with BLM and stuff and I want to share my feelings to see if others feel the same.
Imagine feeling like you're just going along with life having a few interests here and there being an anxious teen and then having something that you feel so strongly about that you feel it's the only reason you live and feeling the most strongly about something you ever had in your whole life and you see people getting hurt because of it and everyone disagrees with you and doesn't understand the way you do and you know you're right but the more people who tell you "all lives matter" "it's just a trend" "you're too young to understand" "he was a criminal" the more you doubt yourself and get even more upset and feel you're the one in the wrong but there's that one stubborn part who says no you're right and you just get angrier and angrier and begin to trust people or voice your opinion less than you already did.
I feel like I'm the only one who's right and when I have discussions about this I get EXTREMELY defensive and angry especially if someone disagrees. The last few months I've just felt this utter rage building up inside me and it won't go away. Sometimes I can express through listening to music but I just want to rip my hair out and scream.
I've had a lot of dark thoughts too, I've wanting to hurt others for disagreeing with me.
What is this and what do I do?