If You Are Not Sure Of Your Gender, Ask Me Anything! (and sexuality questions if you have any)

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  1. Bursting
    SpaceAlien / Jul 01 2020 16.08

    Hello to anyone who reads this!

    I am non-binary (they/them pronouns) and my name is Ace. I have finally figured out my sexuality and gender after 14 years. I know how hard it is to find the right label that fits you.

    If anyone has any questions about: gender, sexuality, binders, packing, passing, pronouns, cloths, coming out or just any identity questions. Please feel free to ask me!

  2. Bursting
    SpaceAlien / Jul 02 2020 0.57

    This is all the genders that I know of:

    Trans man:

    When a person who was assigned female at birth, but identifies as male. Pronouns - he/him/his

    Trans woman:

    When a person who was assigned male at birth, but identifies as female. Pronouns - she/her/hers

    Gender-Neutral:

    When a person who was assigned male or female at birth, but identifies with no gender. Pronouns - they/them/theirs

    Non-binary:

    When a person who was assigned male or female at birth, but identifies as not male or female but still has a gender. Pronouns - they/them/theirs.

    Agender:

    When a person who was assigned male or female at birth, but identifies as not having a particular gender. Pronouns - they/them/theirs.

    Demi-boy:

    When a person who was assigned male or female at birth, but identifies as being partly male/masculine. Pronouns- they/them and or he/him.

    Demi-girl:

    When a person who was assigned male or female at birth, but identifies as being partly female/feminine. Pronouns - they/them and or she/her.

    Gender-fluid:

    When a person who was assigned male or female at birth, but can identify as any gender, depending on how they feel. Pronouns - they/them and or she/her and or he/him.

    Bi-gender:

    When a person who was assigned male or female at birth, but identifies as any two genders. Pronouns - they/them and or she/her and or he/him.

    GenderQueer:

    When a person who was assigned male or female at birth, but can identify as both, neither or a combination of female and male. Pronouns - they/them and or she/her and or he/him.

    If I find any others I will update!

  3. Bursting
    SpaceAlien / Jul 02 2020 1.19

    These are all the sexualities that I know:

    Bisexual:

    When a person is attracted to any two genders.

    Pansexual:

    When a person is attracted to all genders.

    Polysexual:

    When a person is attracted to most genders but not all.

    Asexual:

    When a person lacks any sexual attraction, only romantic attraction.

    Aromantic:

    When a person lacks any romantic attraction, only sexual attraction.

    Demi-sexaul:

    When a person can only create a sexual when a strong romantic attraction is made.

    Polyamorous:

    When a person can have multiple relationships where everyone is knowing and equal.

    Androphilia:

    When a person is only attracted to people who are male or present masculine.

    Gynephilia:

    When a person is only attracted to people who are female or present as feminine.

    If I find any more I will update!

  4. Childline Avatar
    kinderio / Jul 02 2020 14.51

    Hi. Yeah. I have some questions. I'm Caleb. (Born Eliza). Any advice on how to look more like a boy (but kinda subtly). And any advice on how to come out?

    Cal

  5. Bursting
    SpaceAlien / Jul 02 2020 17.20

    All about binders!

    What is a binder:

    A binders function is to flatten a female chest to appear more flat and masculine. This helps relieve dysphoria a trans person my have about their chest.

    Wearing a binder:

    The experience of wearing a binder, getting it on and off is probably the worst of it. Just get over your shoulders and pull it down and very thing should be compressed evenly. But if somethings feel uncomfortable just rearrange things to feel more 'natural'. You should only wear a binder for maximum 8 hours a day, if worn for a long time (10 hours), you may experience pain with your ribs. You should also never exercise in a binder because it restricts your breathing, light running like in p.e. is fine, just no proper exercise. During the summer you will get a bit warmer whilst wearing a binder so make sure you take some breaks during the day.

    Where to find a binder:

    You should only buy a binder from a well know / tested binder company, like gc2b. As their binders have been made to comfortable and reliable for trans people.

    How to clean a binder:

    I clean my binder in my sink with warm water and normal dish soap. You show wash and rise a binder 3 times to make sure it's completely clean. After washing just put it on a hanger in a place to dry. Do not attempt to put on a binder if you or the binder are still damp.

    If your parents are not accepting:

    As my parents told me they wouldn't allow me to get a binder, I went to my friends for help. They used their card to order and I gave them the money back. And I got it delivered to their house so my parents won't know. I would advise that you don't wear a binder around parents as to not raise suspicion about the lack of a female chest.

    Hope this helps anyone!

  6. Bursting
    kinderio / Jul 02 2020 14.51

    Hi. Yeah. I have some questions. I'm Caleb. (Born Eliza). Any advice on how to look more like a boy (but kinda subtly). And any advice on how to come out?

    Cal

    SpaceAlien / Jul 02 2020 17.44

    Hi Caleb!

    Yeah, I defiantly have some advice that you could use.

    How to pass as more masculine:

    When trying to pass as more masculine you could try getting some long sleeve shirts and push up the sleeves, and shorts and jeans from the mens section, to make your frame look more masculine. You could also try getting a binder which would flatten your chest to make it appear like a male chest (if you want to know any more information about binders, have a read of my binder post).

    How to come out:

    Coming out is different for everyone as peoples' family and friends may react differently. My advice is if your parents will except you even with a bit of complaint you should tell them in a safe environment and give them all the information you think will help them understand. If there is a possibility that you may be kicked out of your home or abused for coming out., I would not tell them until you move out or would be in no real danger if things go badly.

    Hope this helped

  7. Childline Avatar
    userashley / Jul 04 2020 3.07

    i am in a friendship group with only around 4 other heterosexual females including myself that i know of. i don't understand my non-heterosexual friends' sexuality's as i am not one bit educated on the topic. i accept who they are of course i do - i love them no matter what - i am proud for them that they can come out and stand up for themselves/ be who they want to be despite not everyone being accepting or agreeing with them. i would love to be more educated someone please help me, please educate me. i am a roman catholic with luckily accepting parents who would love me no matter my sexuality. however, i was brought up with just heterosexual if that makes sense i was never actually aware or introduced to different sexuality's until i grew up mainly because everyone in my family is straight but i have never actually understood different sexuality's other than hetero because i have never tried to be educated because i didn't think i needed to be but now i would like to be, i would love to understand the differences between me and others. what is a stem/fem/stud ? what is pansexual ? what is asexual? if you are bi is it equal male and female or do you like one gender more? is a lesbian homosexual or is there another word for it? please tell me more if i have missed some

  8. Bursting
    userashley / Jul 04 2020 3.07

    i am in a friendship group with only around 4 other heterosexual females including myself that i know of. i don't understand my non-heterosexual friends' sexuality's as i am not one bit educated on the topic. i accept who they are of course i do - i love them no matter what - i am proud for them that they can come out and stand up for themselves/ be who they want to be despite not everyone being accepting or agreeing with them. i would love to be more educated someone please help me, please educate me. i am a roman catholic with luckily accepting parents who would love me no matter my sexuality. however, i was brought up with just heterosexual if that makes sense i was never actually aware or introduced to different sexuality's until i grew up mainly because everyone in my family is straight but i have never actually understood different sexuality's other than hetero because i have never tried to be educated because i didn't think i needed to be but now i would like to be, i would love to understand the differences between me and others. what is a stem/fem/stud ? what is pansexual ? what is asexual? if you are bi is it equal male and female or do you like one gender more? is a lesbian homosexual or is there another word for it? please tell me more if i have missed some

    SpaceAlien / Jul 04 2020 10.30

    Lesbian Terms:

    Fem:

    When a lesbian dresses very feminine, like lots of makeup and wears shirts and other feminine clothing.

    Stud:

    When a lesbian dresses very masculine, they don't wear makeup and wear typically masculine clothing.

    Stem:

    When a lesbian will change between dressing like a fem or like a stud, depending on how they feel.

    Pansexual meaning:

    When a person is attracted to all genders. For example female, male, non-binary, gender-fluid, e.c.t.

    Bisexual attraction:

    A bisexual person usually has preferences, for example 30% boys and 70% girls.

    Asexual meaning:

    When someone is asexual they lack any sexual attraction. They only have romantic attraction towards their partner.

    Homosexual meaning - Any one who isn't straight is homosexual..

    Hope this helped!

  9. Fixer
    kookieyoon5 / Jul 05 2020 14.13

    Hi, I’m Sophie and I’m 12 years old. Ive been worrying about my gender identity. I was born a girl and there have been times in my life where I have thought about maybe leaning towards non-binary...today I was having a conversation with my friends about gender roles and non-binary and it hit me that sometimes I get uncomfortable with my name or girly stereotypes... but maybe its nothing serious? i dont know

  10. Bursting
    kookieyoon5 / Jul 05 2020 14.13

    Hi, I’m Sophie and I’m 12 years old. Ive been worrying about my gender identity. I was born a girl and there have been times in my life where I have thought about maybe leaning towards non-binary...today I was having a conversation with my friends about gender roles and non-binary and it hit me that sometimes I get uncomfortable with my name or girly stereotypes... but maybe its nothing serious? i dont know

    SpaceAlien / Jul 05 2020 21.23

    Hi Sophie, yeah your description is very similar to mine when I began to question my gender.

    If you feel like the label non-binary suits you, you should go for it. I changed between plenty of labels before settling with non-binary. If you want to try out non-binary for a while and if it turns out it's not for you. That's fine!

    If you want anymore info please check out my gender post.

    Hope this helped Ace - they/them pronouns

  11. Fixer
    SpaceAlien / Jul 05 2020 21.23

    Hi Sophie, yeah your description is very similar to mine when I began to question my gender.

    If you feel like the label non-binary suits you, you should go for it. I changed between plenty of labels before settling with non-binary. If you want to try out non-binary for a while and if it turns out it's not for you. That's fine!

    If you want anymore info please check out my gender post.

    Hope this helped Ace - they/them pronouns

    kookieyoon5 / Jul 06 2020 10.20

    Thankyou!! I came out to some of my friends and my close family and they all accepted me. But now I cant even see the point of doing it with classmates you know? They’ll forget or bully me and its just so hard. For now I will accept she/her pronouns because I dont to rush myslef but what if i have got this all wrong

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