HELP please

This content might introduce themes and ideas that may be confusing or shocking if you have not experienced them before.   

Go to Sadness and Depression

Show
  1. Mute
    MelTy-Icelolly / Jun 09 2020 1.55

    (LONG post sorry) hi im mel im 13 and have been experiencing deppresion for over a year. im bisexual but my family are jehovahs witnesses (extremely religious). i struggle with sucidal thoughts though i havent self harmed. if you are raised a Jehovah's witnesses you are raised cut off from the world and isolated, only really seeing other Jehovah's witnesses outside of school, this means if theres no Jehovah's witness kids in the area, tough, you're alone. i dont want to stay a jehovahs witness and when you dont want to be one you get shunned from ur family and friends when u leave. during the summer holidays last year i kinda woke up. i realized that i hated being a Jehovah's witnesses and that i couldnt be bisexual and be one so i resolved in my mind not to. this stressed me out because i know that at around 16 im gonna get kicked out. my parents also didnt help when i was sad and in fact greatly contributed to it because my mum told me that suicudal people are selfish and that they dont care about anyone and that i was just being tested by the devil and later said i was pretending for attention... yeah. that put me off from opening up for a while. good news though i have amazing supportive friends who are the best and are the only reason im alive. around last November i had a breakdown and told one of my teachers this lead to some doctor visits and some angry parents. they felt that i had betrayed them by talking ro a teacher and not them. my mum got super passive aggressive about evrything and i got really deppressed. eventually after lots of warnings from the school to my parents i was about to tell them everything including my sexuallity at school but a day before that my dad found my pride pin. gonna have to make another post to fit this sorry

  2. Childline Avatar
    Temporary93182539 / Jun 30 2020 12.34

    i feel so sorry for you wanna be friends

  3. Spiralling
    Cisco-the-Francisco / Jun 30 2020 19.39

    Hey. First of all, i just want to say that you arent alone. I'm Cisco, an 11 year old non-binary gynesexual (attracted to females) who has a ton of super Sikh family. I have undiagnosed anxiety and depression. I'm not asking for sympathy here, i want to help you right now. I know you are in a really bad situation here that you are stuck in. Just remember (this is probably something that you hear a lot on childline), there are so many people who know how you feel and that would gladly listen to you. On the Message Boards, with the councellers, and more. Just remember that you have a place to seek refuge from your life and be yourself.

    I think you should know how great it is that you havent harmed yourself at all. Considering where you are, thats really something to be proud of. Suicidal thoughts are horrible. Thats the cold, hard truth right now. I need to you know that, although you are going through a horribly dark time, you will come out of this tunnel of depression and reach the light. Just hold onto hope and hang on to life. Thats what i'm doing. Just remember you will find your way through this.

    You say you are cut off from the world. Firstly, and i know this might not help as much i think it will, you have Childline, you have me (if you want to vent to me, that is) and you have your teachers. I really know it is hard having no friends. You feel so excluded and so lost. I'm not very educated on Jehovah's witness and stuff so can you explain what you mean about that? You say that you go to school but is it one with only other Jehovah's witnesses? I feel like the best way to find a way to socialise (that works for you) is to tell you teachers about what is going on. Teachers are experienced with this kind of stuff. I know that it will be hard but i believe that.. TBC

  4. Spiralling
    Cisco-the-Francisco / Jun 30 2020 20.53

    PT 2 you can do this. It will be really beneficial and hopefully, they will be able to do something to prevent your parents verbal and emotional abuse. About the last part of your post. Your dad finding your pride pin. I know you are probably in a dark place right now since it has been a while since your last post. You should get in touch witha childline councellor. I wonder what you think you might do. If you are considering any dangerous options (which i would not recommend) please be very careful, you might do something that you would regret. If you would like to talk about anything on this board, please go ahead and i will do my best to answer you.

    See ya,

    Cisco

  5. Mute
    Cisco-the-Francisco / Jun 30 2020 20.53

    PT 2 you can do this. It will be really beneficial and hopefully, they will be able to do something to prevent your parents verbal and emotional abuse. About the last part of your post. Your dad finding your pride pin. I know you are probably in a dark place right now since it has been a while since your last post. You should get in touch witha childline councellor. I wonder what you think you might do. If you are considering any dangerous options (which i would not recommend) please be very careful, you might do something that you would regret. If you would like to talk about anything on this board, please go ahead and i will do my best to answer you.

    See ya,

    Cisco

    MelTy-Icelolly / Jul 13 2020 22.53

    hi sorry i havent replyied in a while i went through a dark place and was too scared and deppresed to login to childline so ibe only just seen whar you have said and i just wanna say thank ypu for the kind words! here is the rest of the post btw

    he found my pride pin so i lied about most things and the school thought it had been fixed so i stopped being checked on and basically had a second breakdown without telling anyone. now we are in the present and im going downhill again. im doubting my friends actually like me or that the school really cared and that im just whinning and i shpuld just kill myself instead.

    also to answer your questions, Jehovah's witnesses are the door to door people (you probably kniw the ones) who come round advertising comfort and answers to your questions . luckly i go to a normal school though there are other Jehovah's witnesses so i have to be descrite when being who i truly am.

    i also at the moment have no way to contact my friends about how im feeling cuz my dad reads my texts and i only have one friends contacts (also my friends are not Jehovah's witnesses) so im really cut off and am loosing that will that "i will stay alive for my friends" because i havent seen them since march.

    once again thank you for the very kind words do you have any advice for how i could cope until school starts again and i can get proper help btw.

    thank you

    mel

Show

saying
exactly
how i feel

Talk to us about anything