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  1. Loser
    Nateop / May 31 2020 20.33

    My Grandma died in February. I witnessed her having a heart attack and hearing my Mums sobs as she died in her arms. I listened as my Grandad said my Grandmothers name over and over again during her last moments. I could hear my Uncle saying she was gone and cursing at my Grandad as he had kept telling them both that this was going to happen.

    My Mum is devastated and I don’t know how to cope with any of this. Her drinking is tearing us apart. I can’t be around her when she drinks. Her behaviour changes so whatever she’s feeling is amplified by 10. She also has high blood pressure. So did my Grandma and it’s what ended up killing her. I can’t stop my Mum from drinking. She’s promised me 3 times already and broke it every single time.

    Along with that I have just found out that what I experienced as a young child was abuse. I have to live with my abuser and I hate him. The abuse has stopped but I still feel the impact. I’m told by my Mum to get over it because it only happened once (which it didn’t) and that I have a great life and need to stop acting like I was beaten everyday. I was also bullied at school so I have never had a safe place. My autistic brother has ruined my life since the day he was born. I’m no longer in school and I’m close to having to do my gcses but I can’t even do yr4 maths and am not able to get into a school. My Dad (who abused me) calls me lazy and stupid most of the time but apparently it’s a joke. It is is no way funny and he doesn’t say it like it’s a joke.

    I constantly feel numb. Sometimes I have a burst of really strong emotion like anger or depression but after that it’s back to numbness. My Mum believes I should be grieving and tells anyone who will listen that I don’t care about my Grandma dying. I’m at a breaking point. Any advice?

  2. Childline Avatar
    Nateop / May 31 2020 20.33

    My Grandma died in February. I witnessed her having a heart attack and hearing my Mums sobs as she died in her arms. I listened as my Grandad said my Grandmothers name over and over again during her last moments. I could hear my Uncle saying she was gone and cursing at my Grandad as he had kept telling them both that this was going to happen.

    My Mum is devastated and I don’t know how to cope with any of this. Her drinking is tearing us apart. I can’t be around her when she drinks. Her behaviour changes so whatever she’s feeling is amplified by 10. She also has high blood pressure. So did my Grandma and it’s what ended up killing her. I can’t stop my Mum from drinking. She’s promised me 3 times already and broke it every single time.

    Along with that I have just found out that what I experienced as a young child was abuse. I have to live with my abuser and I hate him. The abuse has stopped but I still feel the impact. I’m told by my Mum to get over it because it only happened once (which it didn’t) and that I have a great life and need to stop acting like I was beaten everyday. I was also bullied at school so I have never had a safe place. My autistic brother has ruined my life since the day he was born. I’m no longer in school and I’m close to having to do my gcses but I can’t even do yr4 maths and am not able to get into a school. My Dad (who abused me) calls me lazy and stupid most of the time but apparently it’s a joke. It is is no way funny and he doesn’t say it like it’s a joke.

    I constantly feel numb. Sometimes I have a burst of really strong emotion like anger or depression but after that it’s back to numbness. My Mum believes I should be grieving and tells anyone who will listen that I don’t care about my Grandma dying. I’m at a breaking point. Any advice?

    bluebananna19 / Jun 01 2020 14.47

    Hey, I’m so sorry for your loss. Maybe when your mum isn’t drunk (by the way I’m not being offensive), try talking to her about family counselling.

  3. Loser
    bluebananna19 / Jun 01 2020 14.47

    Hey, I’m so sorry for your loss. Maybe when your mum isn’t drunk (by the way I’m not being offensive), try talking to her about family counselling.

    Nateop / Jun 01 2020 20.29

    Thank you for your reply. Don’t worry I don’t think it’s offensive. That sounds like a really good idea! I will definitely try that! It would really help us. Thank you 💕

  4. Childline Avatar
    Nateop / Jun 01 2020 20.29

    Thank you for your reply. Don’t worry I don’t think it’s offensive. That sounds like a really good idea! I will definitely try that! It would really help us. Thank you 💕

    bluebananna19 / Jun 03 2020 15.08

    You’re welcome! I hope things get better for you and your family! ❤️

  5. Headphones
    Actimel-203 / Jun 18 2020 19.19

    Hi, I have seen my grandmother suffering and it makes me so sad. When she does not remeber me even though she is only sixty as well and its just so horrible it makes me feel sad so I try to talk to her as much as possible even when it is upsetting. I have not known many people who have died, exept my baby cousin and that was horrible as well. I hope you manage to cope with this and all your other problems as well. lots of love xxx

  6. Bursting
    Kwanza / Jul 14 2020 23.52

    I don't really have much advice, but reading your story has brought me to tears and showed me how hard other people have it so all i want to say from the bottom of my heart sorry. I just want to give you a hug. You are AMAZING

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