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  1. Heart
    beeswaxandhoneycomb / May 15 2020 10.33

    so, i’m new here but i thought i’d try this out. i’ve been hearing this voice telling me that when i do something it will be the last time i do it. for example if i walk into my bedroom it tells me that it’ll be the last time i walk through that door. I know exactly what it wants me to do but i don’t want to. It’s just... the voice is my own. I keep fighting it but it keeps coming back and worrying me that i’ll do something by accident and i won’t be able to take it back.

  2. Chatterbox
    lovely-bug / Jan 24 2021 14.45

    I'm not sure whether you were seeking advice although I understand how you feel. //trigger warning// I attempted to k*ll myself not long ago. I was looking for someone with the same problem and I feel as if now I have? There's moments where I sit, spaced out; completely petrified that I had tried doing something so vile to myself. Of course I had failed (gladly at that) although now and then I wonder perhaps I should try again? I don't WANT to but like you've admitted, there's this voice in my head. I try to sit with it sometimes and work out why I hear it and I have come up with the fact it may as well be my depression taking over my mind/giving itself a persona? Because of my failed attempt it's likely (due to my mind being so damaged/disoriented) I now have so much doubt in myself that I've created another person. No, I likely do not have schizophrenia. I think it could be bi-polar disorder? But in this situation, depression becoming 'so bad' (increased) it has taken some of my personality and made it it's own. Also yes, I understand the part where you mention that the voice seems to be your own. Like it IS YOU, but you can't control it at the moment.

    I know it's going to be a long time (for us both) to start feeling normal again but just know I understand and would LOVE to speak to you and perhaps work this out together? We are not alone! And you may feel as if you can't get the voice to stop but I know, as long as you keep fighting it you will eventually find out you have won. It's hard work but your life is too important! Remember you are and always will be in the NOW, every moment counts. Everyone has to deal with crap but I guess the point of it all is to push yourself and grow to become the best version of yourself.

  3. Childline Avatar
    landingonmars / Jan 24 2021 19.57

    Hey! I hope you're doing okay.

    It sounds like what you're going through is really scary for you. I hate to be 'that person' , but do you see anyone for mental health issues currently? If so , you should let them know of this. If you don't see someone currently, perhaps it is something you may consider?

    When my thoughts get too much, I try to shut them up. Sometimes this involves just thinking the words 'shut up' but other times I actually speak out loud as to try overpower the sound. Distractions such as tv and books could also help, as it is difficult for the brain to process two voices or sentences at once.

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