studying languages with social anxiety

  1. Contemplator
    starrybisexual / Dec 03 2019 23.03

    i love languages. im currently doing french gcse and id love to do it for a level. i know what the course involves and it really interests me. yet im really shy. this made me feel really bad about myself in parents evening today. i hate myself for it yet i cant speak. in certain classes, i am able to speak clearly when asked a question but not my french 30 people class. in a level ive heard that it is around 10ish people, usually less for french. sometimes,, i like speaking idk. anyway, i have a crush on my french teacher and he did compliment me in parents evening which shouldve flattered me but instead, i felt upset because when he found out that i was planning on doing it for a level (well he asked if i was and i sajd yes), he said "it involves a lot of speaking, wre you sure? are you okay with that?". this just got me thinking. i like him and so naturally i am more shy of him becahse i find him attractive. it bothers me that i felt more upset than i shouldve. maybe i was okay at that point i don't know but this thought is literally nagging at my brain. i hate how my socual anxiety is stopping me from doing things. it also means that epq isnt an option because it involves speaking. i am gettjng better at speaking and i can speak in front of my englosh class witb 15 people but not fully confidentky and my shyness and the amount i talj is not good enough for the teachers and it is really bringing me down


how i feel

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