a couple years back, wanna say 3 but i cant remember exactly when ( i’ve tried so hard to forget i’ve forgotten some parts) i had to stay around my stepdads parents (nice people, love them to bits). there youngest son lets call him ‘O‘. he‘s 25+ autistic man ( im also autisic )lives at home with them . after my granparents went to bed me and ‘O’ were waching one of my fave movies in his room. Iv’e got a birthmark on my lower back / butt, when i was little and we had to get chage in class for swimming ( this was intill age 9 and at this point im 11ish) people would find it intrestig , idk why. so i‘m laying on the front at the foot of the bed, ‘O’ tuches were my birth mark is and helds his hand there. once again little kids when i was younger would piont at it and i had to have docters poke it on it a few times to make sure it wasn’t killing me or sonthing, so i dint think much of it for a few seconds bit then i started to not like it. after a few minites he pulled the waist band of my pants. i slaped his hand and told him no. i lay there with his hand on my butt for a cuple minites before saying i was tierd and going back to my room.
the was a couple more insdinces a bot like that but ive pushed them so far down trying to froget them they are a bit foggy.
i aviod ‘o’ at all costs a few times he has tryed to get me to kiss him and i never do.
for years i’ve made excuses for him, im being extream and its his autism and is my fault. if i tell any one it will tear my famaily apart (i love them all but ‘o’) or they will call me a lier or drama queen and they will all hate me. i have nightmares about it some times,
i can no longer wach that movie or see my mark and i cry thinking about it i have to scrub my hands raw before i feel better .i cant keep living with the truth