im 15 and im not sure if this is sexual abuse...It started about two years ago. I was at the football match with my grandad and his friend (His best friend from school). He started to subtley make suggestive comments. Half way through the match he held my hand under my scarf and asked if I was cold. I thought he was just being nice but was a bit confused. Through the began to touch me more and move his hand in between my legs etc. Afterwards he said if I ever needed somewhere to go after school I could go there as long as he was alone. In the car on the way home he sat in the back with me and started again but it was worse this time. I was too scared to say anything and tell my grandad. This has happened a few times but I still see him regularly. I don't want to upset my grandad by telling Him. Since then I have bad anxiety attacks and try to hide both things from everyone. I'm too scared to tell anyone and have thought about self harming. I feel like I have lost control of everything, what do I do?