Was I sexually abused? (trigger warning)

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  1. Childline Avatar
    blue-haired-dyslexic / Nov 26 2016 14.20

    I know I was sexually abused as a kid online. A guy I didn't know forced me to show him my body, I didn't get a choice in it. he threatened if I didn't, he'd kill my parents and send photos of me to all the people on my contact list after hacking my account.

    Recently I did a course of EMDR therapy with my therapst at CAMHS, and other things came up. They were about a teacher in my middle school, he never did anything that bad. All I remember is that he constnatly came up behind me and huged me, putting his hands on my stomach and towards my breasts. He constantly huged me, and he always wanted to know personal things about me. I remember him bringing up conversations that made me uncomfortable, but I think due to repression I can't remember the nature of the conversations. On my last day of term before I moved to upperschool I gave him a thankyou card and a gift (My mum made me give gifts to all my teachers). We were stood in the corridor and it was emplty because it was in a lesson and he hugged me really close, and then he kissed me. I was 13 and him about 50+

    It wasn't that bad. it could have been much worse, but the memories of it coming back aver overwhelming and uncomfortable and make me feel really really terrible. I don't know if this counts as sexual abuse, and I don't know if I tell my therapist at CAMHS if she's going to have to contact the school. I did look it up, he doesn't work there anymore. I didn't tell her the nature of my meories, but she clearly has guessed what happened from the bits I said outloud in EMDR.

    I don't know what to do, I don't know who to tell and I just wanted to see what people thought.

  2. Reaching out
    Childline-Host / Dec 07 2016 17.19

    Hi there

    Thank you for taking the time to talk about your experiences in the past, it seems like you really want some support for how you have been left feeling and are starting to think about what it might be like to tell someone and who that might be.

    From what you have described, it seems like the way this teacher behaved and touched you made you feel uncomfortable. No one, no matter who they are, has a right to touch you if you don't them to. When someone touches you in a sexual way and you don't want them to it is sexual abuse.

    Sexual abuse covers all unwanted sexual behaviour including hugging and kissing. So yes, what your teacher did is classed as sexual abuse. You can find out a bit more about sexual abuse here:

    https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/abuse-safety/sexual-abuse/

    Teachers, and people who work with children must always help you to keep safe. Because this is so important, schools try to make sure that they don't have teachers there who have been known to abuse someone in the past. If someone believes that a teacher may have abused someone in the way you have described, they will have a duty to investigate this. Whilst the teacher might not be at that school, he may be teaching somewhere else, so its something that your therapist or CAMHS worker will need to pass on.

    Here at Childline this is something we also take very seriously, so if someone talks to Childline about when a teacher has abused them, this is also something we would also usually have to report. You can find out a bit more about this here:

    https://www.childline.org.uk/about/confidentiality-promise/

    Even if we have to tell someone else, we do still want to support you with the feelings this has left you with, you can talk anytime.

    Take care

    Mel-Host

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