My friends have broke my self esteem

  1. Childline Avatar
    Nicky2944 / May 26 2016 6.39

    Before secondary school I had a lot of self esteem and confidence. I felt like I could walk in a room alone and walk back out with a friend but for the last 9 months everything has changed.

    Ever since the start of year 8 my closest friends have been calling me names and insulting me. They say it's a joke and then they don't mean it then they say they do.

    in pe I'm always last to be picked for pairs or groups. People just yell at me to shut up all the time when I only say about one sentence . They call me annoying and keep bringing up a humiliating story about me and shouts it across the classroom despite me almost crying. They have even started on my body and made comments about my flat chest and my tall build.

    even my class mates have said they hate me to my face and on non uniform day I would buy some new clothes and made an effort and my own friends told me I looked horrible and laughed in my face because I didn't have the latest trainers etc.

    i wore mascara to school and got laughed at and I wore trousers then got laughed at. i can't even walk past a group of friends alone because these sort of things have happened so much.

    everyday I feel like as if I am wearing a smile and no one knows what hurt is inside of me. I have been called fat but flat chested

    if I tell my bestfriend a secret at the dinner table she tells everyone when I am sitting next to her and watching.

    everyday people just raise their eyebrows at me or make comments about me.

    i even tried self harm once and I told my bestfriend and she told people and called me a show off when I wanted to talk about it because I needed someone because I felt like I couldn't carry on alone.

    i have picked up habits like biting the skin off my lip and recently I have sat in my room crying for ages and I have been ever so depressed and I don't know how to cope anymore x

  2. Childline Avatar
    KatTheBandFan / Apr 24 2016 22.21

    Oh honey this sounds absolutely awful. The first thing I want to say is please, please, please don't self harm, it is addictive as hell and you will come out the other end with scars and tehy just suck. Secondly please tell a teacher or parent about all of this, this is completely horrible and these kids should not be doing things like this to you, it is an awful way to act. Do not listen to their insults or barbs, it is most likely that they were jealous of your confidence, people seem to like to rip down people who are more confident than them. You do what you want and wear what you want if it makes you feel good, don't take any notice of their petty comments. Also don't stay in your room, try and go downstairs and just spend time with your family, even reading a book in the same room as them can help, just sitting with company. I hope everything starts to get better for you x

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    sann0677 / May 23 2016 22.53

    RIm in the same situation. My closest friends make fun of me and they say it's a joke when it really hurts me. I'm very sensitiv. and it all started since yr 8. I selfharmed over it and people found out they say I'm. An attention seeker 

  4. Childline Avatar
    Lauren9716 / May 24 2016 20.04

    I was in this situation last year. I started secondary school and had only one friend. She always laughed at me, saying I was flat cheated and tubby, and said I wasn't a real girl.I started to self harm (which by the way never do, you get addicted as hell) and my self esteem got really low. I remember thinking how it was so unfairand how i wish I could fit in. It was at about this time I realised I was bisexual too. Then I left her and found new cope with my self harm I drew butterflies on my cope with hating myself I pretended be my best friend and "borrow" her confidence. Now I am on the road to recovery, and I am sure one day you will be too. The one thing I will say is don't cope with this alone. Tell a parent or a teacher or another trusted person and I promise you things will get better.

    Take care


  5. Childline Avatar
    Bubblegumsweet / May 24 2016 22.27

    Nicky i am so sorry this has happened to you. 

    These friends definitely do not sound like nice people. Year 8 is a really tough year, i think most people would tell you that, i am now in year 12 and i promise you friendships get better an people become nicer, in my experience, as you move up the school. Things sound really difficult for you i think making sure your famiy understand would be agood thing to do because then they can try and help you at home and you will have people to talk to about how you feel. I am also wondering if you are able to move schools? this may sound like extreme and rubbish advice, but you sound like a great person and to start somewhere fresh might be exactly what you need to boost your confidence. Here you could find new friends who accept you for the amazing person you are. Destructive behaviours are never the answer (although i cant really talk). dont let them beat you down. 

    Let us know how it is going and good luck x

  6. Childline Avatar
    emmsx1234 / May 26 2016 6.39

    dear nicky

    these "friends" seem to have hurt you alot. in my understanding this is bullying and you really need to be honest with them maybe try talk to one of them and tell them how you feel and how they're affecting you. I know you may not do that becuase its a pretty brave thing to do but its for the best. if that tactic doesn't work then you may have to tell a teacher or a trusted adult about whats going on, i know i was in a type of situtation like this and i never told my teacher i wish i had done but i didn't know if it was all my fault and if things would get worse. if you do decide to tell a teacher its best not to tell the people that pick on you that you're doing these becuase this gives them time to come up with a fake reason as to what happened. Also on childline there are some videos on 3 tips to build your confidence (self esteem) after bullying im sure that could help you out aswell. 

    i hope that you take this advice and i hope it will help you through this rough time.

    yours faithfully,


    P.S. please quote this message if it helped i would love to know if your problem was sorted.


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