Forgiveness?

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  1. Butterfly
    DifferentDay / May 31 2016 12.28

    Hello,

    For a really long time, I've been struggling with some things that happened in the past that I blame myself for.

    Whether or not I deserve that blame is irrelevant... It doesn't change my feelings.

    I must sound so selfish saying this, but the feelings that go with this self-blame interfere with my life and I don't want to live the rest of my life chained to the shadows of my past...

    I do not want to remove the blame. I want to accept that I did something bad... But I also want to let go of it a bit. I don't want it to hurt me quite so much. I don't want the pain or the shame or the sinking feeling of self-worthlessness. Again... I'm being so selfish. I should suffer, I should really be punished with this until I drop down dead from it. But at a certain moment that stops helping me or anyone else.

    Ok, I'm sorry about rambling, but I wanted to get my feelings about this out, because I'm mixed up about it...

    I'm really struggling to forgive myself for what happened and I don't even know where to start with it. Does anyone have any ideas on how to help me forgive myself? Or even any ideas about where to start on forgiving myself? Or any ideas about forgiveness at all?

    Again, sorry for an all-over-the place message.

    Keep swimming everyone,

    Bye for now,

    Day :)

  2. Graduate
    TheGuyInTheBlueScarf / May 31 2016 12.28
    differentday / 24 may 2016 at 21:49

     

    Hello,

    For a really long time, I've been struggling with some things that happened in the past that I blame myself for.

    Whether or not I deserve that blame is irrelevant... It doesn't change my feelings.

    I must sound so selfish saying this, but the feelings that go with this self-blame interfere with my life and I don't want to live the rest of my life chained to the shadows of my past...

    I do not want to remove the blame. I want to accept that I did something bad... But I also want to let go of it a bit. I don't want it to hurt me quite so much. I don't want the pain or the shame or the sinking feeling of self-worthlessness. Again... I'm being so selfish. I should suffer, I should really be punished with this until I drop down dead from it. But at a certain moment that stops helping me or anyone else.

    Ok, I'm sorry about rambling, but I wanted to get my feelings about this out, because I'm mixed up about it...

    I'm really struggling to forgive myself for what happened and I don't even know where to start with it. Does anyone have any ideas on how to help me forgive myself? Or even any ideas about where to start on forgiving myself? Or any ideas about forgiveness at all?

    Again, sorry for an all-over-the place message.

    Keep swimming everyone,

    Bye for now,

    Day :)

     

    Pain is a gift. WIthout the capacity for pain we can't feel the hurt we inflict. Forgive yourself; you are not perfect. Forgiving yourself doesn't mean you approve of what happened.It means that you are giving yourself permission to move on with your life. The most important thing is for you to forgive yourself. The second you forgive yourself you then release yourself from the limiting binds of shame and guilt. Accept the fact that you are only human. Know that you are the only person in this world who is in control of making yourself happy. You just have to know that you are worthy of happiness. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant. The only way anyone can live in peace is if they're prepared to forgive.

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