For a really long time, I've been struggling with some things that happened in the past that I blame myself for.
Whether or not I deserve that blame is irrelevant... It doesn't change my feelings.
I must sound so selfish saying this, but the feelings that go with this self-blame interfere with my life and I don't want to live the rest of my life chained to the shadows of my past...
I do not want to remove the blame. I want to accept that I did something bad... But I also want to let go of it a bit. I don't want it to hurt me quite so much. I don't want the pain or the shame or the sinking feeling of self-worthlessness. Again... I'm being so selfish. I should suffer, I should really be punished with this until I drop down dead from it. But at a certain moment that stops helping me or anyone else.
Ok, I'm sorry about rambling, but I wanted to get my feelings about this out, because I'm mixed up about it...
I'm really struggling to forgive myself for what happened and I don't even know where to start with it. Does anyone have any ideas on how to help me forgive myself? Or even any ideas about where to start on forgiving myself? Or any ideas about forgiveness at all?
Again, sorry for an all-over-the place message.
Keep swimming everyone,
Bye for now,