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To Sam

Where can I talk to others?

Note: We have changed a few words in your letter but the meaning has not changed.

Tonight I began to self harm,I don't know why I do it,but now I have I feel like i just want to do more and more. The only thing stopping me is how it's going to look if people see the cuts I cut myself in 6 places,one really badly,I want to talk to others who cut to see if I'm the only one that doesn't know why they do it? (Through the internet not in person) I have been feeling down recently for various reasons but they'd sort of resolved but I still feel this way...
is it just me that doesn't know why I cut? Is it an addiction? Where can I speak to others whom cut on the internet?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me and sharing with me what is going on for you at the moment.

It sounds like you’ve only recently started self-harming. I hear from lots of other young people who self-harm and there are many reasons why they do so.

Someone might hurt themselves because it's a way of releasing tension or anger. It’s a physical pain that they can deal with, rather than an emotional feeling that can be hard to cope with. It can also be a way of controlling something, especially if they feel that other parts of their life are out of control or they are trapped in a difficult situation. Everyone is different though and there is no single answer – for some people it can be an addiction without any specific reason for starting to cut.

I can hear that not knowing why you harm yourself is confusing. Understanding your own feelings is an important step towards coping with them. A good way of doing this can be to think carefully about what happens when you’re cutting and to keep a diary or a log of your feelings. Writing down what you feel before, during and afterwards might help you to understand it more clearly.

We have some information about self-harm and the reasons people do this but if you want to talk directly to other people who do this you can take a look at our message boards. You can see comments and advice from other young people in similar situations or start your own thread. You might also find it useful to check out these messages from other young people about self-harm.  

It's really important to keep your wounds clean so that they don't get infected and remember that you can call 999 for medical help if you ever cut too deep and the bleeding does not stop.

Remember that our counsellors are here if you want to talk to them about this. You can contact ChildLine either through email, online via a 1-2-1 chat or by calling us free on 0800 1111. I hope this helps.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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