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To Sam

Told my mum I self harm...

I self harm, I wanted to tell my mum and I did but I feel like I made her sad, I have a small brother and I said I feel left out, I'm scared that she's sad and thinks she's a bad mother... Please help!
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me. It sounds like talking to your mum about your self-harm was a big step for you and I think it was a really brave thing to do.

Your mum might be feeling a bit sad now but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have told her. Sometimes people can feel very shocked, upset or guilty when they find out that about someone else’s self-harm. If your mum is feeling like that at the moment, it’s important to remember that that’s not your fault. You deserve to get support with your self-harm and talking about what’s happening is a good way to do that.

I’m wondering what you’d hoped for when you told your mum about your self-harm. It might be that you just wanted her to know, so it’s not a secret anymore, or maybe you would like her to listen to you and talk about your feelings. From reading your letter I get the sense that maybe you wanted things to change a bit at home and want her to be able to support you with that. Maybe you could keep talking to your mum and letting her know how you feel now. It might help her to know what she could do or say at the moment to help you. It also sounds like you would like your mum to know that you think she is a good mother.

You might both find it helpful to look at self-harm pages in Explore. You could also visit the Young Minds site, which has useful information for young people as well as for parents about getting support with self-harm.

If you would like any help with thinking about what you want to say to your mum, you’re welcome to contact ChildLine to speak to one of our counsellors. We are always here to listen. You might also find it helpful to have a look at the message boards on the ChildLine website. This is a space where young people can share their experiences and advice.

Self-harm can be a scary and lonely experience and getting support can be really important, which is why I think you did really well talking to your mum.

Take care,


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