Ask Sam letter


To Sam

The way I am

Everyone in my friendship group is going through puberty and I feel like I'm the youngest but I'm not I'm the oldest so why haven't I started to grow up
Ask Sam


Hi there,

During puberty, you’ll go through a number of physical and emotional changes. Some you’ll notice, and some you won’t. The physical changes you can expect are signs that your body is growing from a young person into an adult. The emotional changes can affect people in different ways. Some people experience mood swings or you may feel more tired than usual. It’s natural to feel a bit confused about what you’re going through. Getting some support with your feelings might help you to cope.

You can start puberty at any age between 9 and 16, but some people can start later. There’s no fixed time. If you notice other people around you have started puberty before you, it can feel as though you are being left behind. It’s natural to feel a bit anxious, but it’s important to remember that everyone starts at different times and it’s not a race to finish.

If you get to 16 and you are still waiting for some of the changes, like periods starting for girls, then you might like to visit your GP to talk things through. Things like this happen at different times for different people. And it can be good to get advice from someone like a doctor or nurse.

Talking to an adult you trust could be another option. Remember that all adults have been through puberty themselves so perhaps they could help you with knowing what to expect.

Lots of young people have shared their experience of puberty on the message boards and the counsellors are always there to listen and support you.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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