Ask Sam letter


To Sam

'The hyper friend.'

Dear Sam.

I'm thirteen and in secondary school in a group of people I'm the happy one, the one who can ALWAYS be relied on to feel great and cheer people up. People see me as a comedian and not as a person. I have a brother who's autistic, a family that's falling apart, a struggle with dyslexia, dysbracia and ADHD to deal with. I'm just fed up with people crying about their parents who didn't get them a blackberry, their annoying older brother, their tests results that were way higher then mine but still somhow worthy of crying over. I'm ranting arent I? Sorry... I'm just tired of being relied on as a friend, daughter and sister.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

I’m really pleased you’ve written to me as I can hear how upset you are with everyone right now. It’s really good that you felt able to write to me and share all your feelings. Sometimes just letting off steam about things can really help to release the stress and upset about it all.

It sounds like you’ve taken on a couple of roles in life that people have come to rely on you for and that’s quite a responsibility for one person and it seems like everyone has forgotten to see the person behind these roles. I can also hear that it’s probably difficult for you to be noticed and heard at home as things sound very difficult there and your brother needs a lot of care and support. It can be really hard to let people know that you have problems and need support as well but if you don’t they will usually think everything’s okay and continue to lean on you as they do. 

You’ve done really well writing to me and I really think it’s important that you get some support. It sounds like that’s difficult at home with everything that’s going on and it might be hard to be your true self with your friend. It might take some thinking about how to approach your family or friends about this so you might find it really helpful to talk to one of the ChildLine counsellors about what’s going on whenever you need to. They can support you with what you’re going through and help you to work out how you can get others to support you too.

You can do this by ringing on 0800 1111 (calls are free and won’t show up on bills), you can log on for a 1-2-1 chat or you can send an email through your account (it can take up to 24 hours to reply to these). You might also find the message boards useful where you can create a post and other young people respond and provide support. It might be worth having a look and see if you think that might be something you could use.

In the meantime, please take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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