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To Sam

Suicide, self harm, the way I look

Note: Some of the content of this letter has been changed, but the meaning and message remains intact

Hello, I'm 15, and I'm a female. I don't know if I'm being stupid but deep down and randomly right now I just feel that I want to cut, I feel I shouldn't be breathing right now. I need help with it, to keep safe. I feel so sad about it and I'm depressed as well. I'm not sure what to do because I keep thinking dying is the best option

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

You’ve done really well to write to me. It sounds like you are finding things really tough right now, and you deserve to have some support.

I’m concerned to hear about the thoughts you have been having. You seem to find it hard to value yourself as you have said that you shouldn’t be breathing and you have been having thoughts about ending your life. You have told me that you need help to keep safe, and it’s good to hear that you want to be safe. You can talk to a ChildLine counsellor at any time, they are there to help you keep yourself safe and support you.

It’s okay to talk to ChildLine about feeling suicidal. Talking can really help you to see that there are alternatives to what you are feeling and thinking, even though they may be hard to see right now. What you say is confidential, but our counsellors may want to tell someone who can help you if they feel your life is in immediate danger. The ChildLine confidentiality promise explains more about this.

If you ever feel like you are struggling to keep yourself safe, it’s okay to call 999 and ask for an ambulance to help you. You should know that there is always help available for you, no matter how low you are feeling.

I can hear you saying that cutting feels like the right way for you to cope at the moment. It also sounds like you would prefer to find a different way to cope. You might find it useful to have a look at the Self-harm page, or our page with some alternative coping techniques.

You’ve shown a lot of courage to tell me about what’s been going on for you and I want to encourage you to keep talking. You could speak to an adult you trust or one of the counsellors at ChildLine. You can phone them free on 0800 1111, send an email, or log on for a 1-2-1 chat (which is like instant messaging). They really care about you and they want to support you.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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