Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Should or shouldn't

I have got a cello exam tomorrow and I'm quoting cello so should I go to the lesson or should I not go? Please answer this has been on my mind for days.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. You sound torn between whether it would be best for you to go to this lesson. I’m glad that you’ve felt able to ask about it here – there’s nothing too big or too small to talk to me or to ChildLine about. If something is important to you and on your mind, ChildLine is here for you.

Young people can start learning instruments for lots of different reasons. Sometimes it’s your choice to start and sometimes it can be because of what people like your parents expect of you.

When you said that you’re quitting the cello you sounded very sure. Sometimes when making a decision to quit something, it might be wise to think about the reasons why you started the cello lessons in the first place, and whether it was your choice. Also maybe think about how you felt when you were playing the cello or learning to play it. Was it all bad or was some of the experience good?

Exams can bring up lots of different feelings and they can be a really stressful time for young people. If you’re quitting cello it would be understandable to think there isn't much point in going to the lesson.

It can be good though to think about what you would actually lose if you went. You might find it helpful to write a list of pros and cons about going to the lesson, putting everything that would be good about going on one side and everything bad on the other. You might also find it helpful to do the same for if you didn’t go to the lesson.

Things like cello lessons aren’t always part of your normal education, which means that the lessons are often arranged outside. It would be good to remember this when you are thinking about whether or not to go and what you would most like to say if you decided not to go and even what people might say about it.

Decisions about your future (big or small) aren’t always easy. There’s often no right or wrong answer for what’s best for you, but that doesn’t mean you have to be alone in deciding. You might find it useful to have a look at the Making decisions page. It has advice on ways to make your own decisions as well as helpful advice for thinking about the future.

Another idea would be to ask what other people would do if they were in your place using the Childline message boards. They’re a safe place where you can post anonymously and get advice from people who’ve been through similar things.

It can be good to consider what might happen if you stopped going to the lessons. You haven’t mentioned if you have spoken to anyone else about this. It might be worth thinking about talking through your decision with someone like a teacher you trust, or a parent or carer. If you don’t find it easy to talk to an adult, you could maybe write down what you’d like to say so you don’t forget when you speak to them or you could even send them a letter or e mail explaining what is going on for you.

As well as all of this, no matter what you decide Childline is here to support you. You can speak to a counsellor any time using the 1-2-1 chats, by emailing or by calling for free on 0800 1111.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter