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You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
Hi there,
Thanks for your letter. It sounds like you are having a difficult time with lots of things at the moment.
It's really good that you could come on here and talk about whats happening. Sometimes just telling someone else is the first step. I can hear how upset you are and you ask which issue is it ok to be upset over. Well I believe it's ok to feel upset about every issue that you've told me about.
From your letter it sounds like it was a shock for you when a person you have thought of as a friend tried to attack you. Unfortunately there are people that think being violent like that is okay, when in fact its actually a form of bullying. Bullies often don't think about how their behaviour affects others but that doesn't make it ok. Someone trying to attack you is wrong and you have the right to be safe.
You also talk about two boys touching you and blocking you into a corner while laughing and making comments. No one has the right to touch you without your consent and the fact that it is over your clothes doesnt change this. What these boys are doing could be called sexual abuse and they can get in very serious trouble for this. While you are in school you should be safe and protected by staff, as your school has a duty to protect you and keep you safe.
It also seems that your relationship with your Dad is not great. You say he gets angry and used to shout a lot and has grabbed you by the throat. No parent should hurt you in anyway and in fact it is against the law. It sounds like you hadnt seen him for a while but he has recently come back into your life. Im wondering what thats like for you. If at any time you feel unsafe when you are with your Dad you should dial 999 and get some help.
You also mention your boyfriend who says some really horrible things about how he would like you more if you lost weight and then sometimes he can be nice which is confusing for you. You also say that he can pressure you into sex. No one has the right to pressure you into doing anything you do not feel comfortable with, even if he is your boyfriend. Its really important that you only have sex if its something you both mutually want to happen.
You ask how long it is ok to feel upset about these things and how you can stop. Im afraid I cant answer that because it can take time to work through hard times and painful emotions and feelings. You have been really brave telling me about whats happening and you've done really well to make the first big step in trying to work through these issues.
For things to get better its important to think about telling someone you trust perhaps a relative or teacher. It might be that it's too much to think about talking about everything thats going on so maybe you could think about whats the most important thing and start with that first. Maybe you could also put your message up on the ChildLine message board and get some advice from other young people who might be going through similar situations. You might also want to talk to a ChildLine counsellor. They are available 24/7 either by phone on 0800 1111 or online in a 1-2-1 chat.
Take care and be safe,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.