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To Sam

Self Harming Help

Dear Sam,

I have been feeling suicidal and depressed recently.

I have been self harming at least once a night. I cannot tell my parents as they have high anxiety and i did tell them i feel depressed but they were crying and all sorts.

Any ideas on coping with negative thoughts of ending it all or self harming coping tecniques?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Feeling suicidal and like you want to harm yourself is very difficult to cope with. When we try to cope with difficult feelings it can help to focus on getting through them and thinking about a better a future. With suicidal and self-harm feelings it's different because it can be difficult to imagine things getting better, which makes it more difficult to cope. It is possible to cope with and recover from suicidal feelings with the right amount of time and support. We have advice on coping with suicidal feelings and our counsellors are always here to support you.

There are lots of different reasons why someone might feel like harming or killing themselves. Sometimes people feel worse when they harm themselves because it's hard for them to see or understand any reason for them to be doing it. It's common for people to tell me that they think they shouldn't be feeling this way because things aren't so bad in the rest of their lives and that other people "have it worse" than they do.

When someone feels suicidal they often want something in their life to change and may feel so desperate for answers or exhausted from trying that they see ending their life as a solution. Suicide is never the answer and it is always possible to find ways to cope with very difficult thoughts and feelings. Talking to someone about how you're feeling and what you're thinking is a great way to start.

There are lots of different self-harm coping techniques but one of the best pieces of advice I can give is to not try and do it alone. Having someone you can turn to is really important and your parents or carers should be there to support you, no matter what they are going through themselves. If they're not able to be there for you then it's important you get someone else to support you. Trying to cope with feelings of self-harm and suicide on your own is not something you need to do.

Finding the right people to support you is really important - you should trust them and they need to be available to you when you need them. Take a look at our tips on asking an adult for help.

If you don't feel you have anyone to turn to then Childline is always there for you. If you ever need support, a counsellor is there to listen anytime. If you ever feel like you might harm yourself or do something to try to end your life then it's okay to call 999 and get help.

I hope this gives you some idea of what to do next, but I think talking more about it with one of our counsellors would be a good next step.

Take care,


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