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Asker

To Sam

self-harm

im in college and im got bulling when i was at school i start to self-harm when i fined school i stop to hurt mi self but i start agan but it everyday.

people at college not know about it or the bully to self-harm im safe it make me feel better but im scaret to tell mi mum and dad now i feel  and  to go to college tomrrow to face the bully.

mi friend at college know when it go to the toilt i cut i arm so then call the nures at college but i not show her

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

It sounds like there’s a lot going on for you. I’m really glad you decided to write to me. What the bully is doing is wrong and it is not your fault. I want to help you find a way to stop the bullying.

The best way to stop bullying is to tell an adult that you trust. Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say. It might help to write a bullying diary:

•            Find or buy a notebook and keep it somewhere private.
•            Write down all the unkind things that the bully says or does to you.
•            Write down the time, day and place where each thing happened.
•            Write or draw how it made you feel.

If you show your bullying diary to an adult, it will help them understand what is happening. It can also be a really good way of letting out some of your sad or angry feelings. Maybe next time you feel like cutting you could try writing in your bullying journal first?

You told me that you stopped self-harming after finishing school. You did really well to stop. It makes me believe that you will be able to stop again, when the time is right.

I’m glad to hear that you have a friend who wants to help when you’ve self-harmed. It sounds like you feel scared about showing the nurse your cuts. It’s really important to take care of your cuts to stop them getting infected. The nurse would be able to help you with that. If you’re worried she might tell someone else, you could ask her about this first.

I can hear how much you don’t want your parents to find out what’s happening. You haven’t told me what you think they might do or say. Sometimes it can help to have another adult explain things to parents from your point of view. That’s something that a tutor, pastoral worker or nurse might offer to help with.

You may also find it helpful talking to a ChildLine counsellor about what’s happening. You can call the free phone number 0800 1111, or you can sign up for an account and send the counsellors an email or log in for a 1-2-1 chat. You do not have to cope with this on your own anymore.

Thanks for writing to me,

Take care,

Sam

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