Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Self Harm

Dear Sam,
I self harm, almost every night about things that go on in school and at home. I have cuts all up my arms and legs. I am the only person who knows about this. It's mostly because of being bullied. I am a Goth and people make fun of me for it, I also get pushed into lockers and punched. I've gone to the school and my parents multiply times but nothing works. They don't listen to me. I just don't understand.
Ask Sam



Thank you for you letter and thank you for trusting me enough to tell me about what’s going on at the moment.

You’ve mentioned that there’s lots of difficult things happening for you. It sounds like self-harm is your way of trying to cope with that at the moment. I hear from lots of young people who self-harm, but it’s important to remember that it can be really risky. Until things feel more manageable for you, and you can find a safer way of coping, you need to make sure you keep yourself as safe as possible if you hurt yourself. For example, you should look after the cuts carefully to stop them getting infected. If you ever find you can’t stop the bleeding you should call 999 and ask for medical help. Have a look at the NHS advice on first aid for cuts and injuries.

What the bullies are doing to you is wrong. You’ve said that they are making fun of you because you are a Goth, but that’s not a reason to bully anyone. You have the right to be whoever you want to be, without fear of being attacked. It’s really disappointing to hear that you’ve not been able to get the support you deserve when you talk to the school or your parents. I imagine that it’s been very frustrating for you - you are doing the right thing in asking for help but people are not listening.

All schools now have anti-bullying policies. I wonder if you would consider asking the school for a copy of their anti-bullying policy. It should describe a series of stages that the school should follow when it’s trying to stop bullying. You could ask them to tell you which stage they are at with the people who are bullying you. You haven’t told me who it is you’ve been speaking to in school. If your teachers aren’t listening, you could try talking to the head of year, or even the head teacher. You might find it helps to keep a written record of every thing the bullies say or do. If you write down what happened, when, where and who else saw it, then it should help the school understand how hard things are for you right now. have got some great advice on how to get yourself heard when you are being bullied.

If you would like to talk to one of our counsellors about what is happening you will be very welcome. You might also consider posting a message on the messageboards, asking other young people for their advice and support.

Take care


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