Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Self harm

hi sam im an 11 year old girl called r* and im self harming i dont know why HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ask Sam


Hi R*,

There are lots of reasons why people self-harm. Different people might do it for different reasons. It can really help to think about what thoughts you have before, during and after you do it, so that you can start to understand a bit more about what’s making you hurt yourself. 

Lots of people do different things to distract themselves at the time they feel the urge to hurt themselves. You could think about creating a diary so that you write down the thoughts and feelings you have before you self-harm, the things you think and feel while you do it and what you think and feel afterwards. It could also help to talk to an adult about this to get some support. 

You did well to tell me about this and you deserve to have support with what you’re going through. If you’re not sure about telling someone you know, you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor. They’re there to support you any time and you can talk to them by phoning on 0800 1111, or online through a 1-2-1 chat.

Some people say that they self-harm as a way of letting out feelings that they don’t feel able to express in other ways. There are always other things that you can try that don’t put you in danger the way that self-harm does.

Many young people do things they enjoy or that they know will distract them for long enough for those difficult feelings to pass or allow them to cope more easily. You could have a look at our self-harm coping techniques and how these could work for you. The important thing is to find something safe and that you can do almost anywhere.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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