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To Sam

Self Harm

I feel really sad sometimes. I can't stop thinking about how lonely I am and how no-one likes me and my thoughts are negative. I feel like crying a lot and I cut/scratch myself to try and feel better (it usually makes me feel temporarliy a bit better). I don't know whether I have a serious condition or whether it's just teenage hormones. I feel like I hate myself and can't talk to anyone. I feel worthless and unimportant and I feel like killing myself (I won't, I don't have the courage). I know that i'm fat and quite ugly and I'm scared about doing badly in my exams. I feel like I don't really fit in with my family. Above all, I just feel lonely and like I don't have any proper friends and like nobody cares about me. I don't think you can help me, but writing this helps to let out how I feel but I don't think it will change anything. I just want a hug, really.
Ask Sam

Sam

Hello

Thank you for getting in touch with me. It sounds as though you feel low a lot of the time, and you are concerned about what is making you feel this way. I think it’s really good that you are looking for ways to cope with this.

I’m very concerned to hear you have had thoughts about killing yourself. If these feelings ever get stronger you can phone ChildLine at any time of day or night on 0800 1111, or talk to us online. It sounds as though you might be trying to distract yourself from negative thoughts by hurting yourself. There is a lot more information about Self Harm in the Explore section.

You said your feelings might be ‘just teenage hormones’ but feelings caused by hormones can be really strong and difficult to deal with. There are a lot of messages from other young people on the Puberty message boards – it may help to look at them, or post your own message for people to reply to. If you do still feel worried about what is making you feel low, you could think about talking to your GP, or someone at school – like a school nurse if you have one.

It’s not unusual to feel scared about doing badly in exams. If there is a teacher that you like or trust it may help to let them know about your worries. Teachers should be able to give you advice about the best ways to prepare for your exams. There is more information about exam worries in the Explore section and there is also information and advice about preparing for exams on the BBC website.  

It sounds like you understand how important it is not to bottle feelings up. It’s good that you have found writing things down helps let your feelings out. You can try writing a diary, or maybe writing a letter to tell someone about the way you feel. As well as writing, have a think about other creative activities that might help to let your feelings out – such as painting or playing music. Some people also find exercise is a good way to release tension.

Remember, ChildLine is here for you to talk to at any time. You can have a chat on the phone and online. If you find writing things down easier you might want to send an email to get a more personal reply.

Thank you for your letter

Take care

Sam

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