Hi, this is my first time on childline, i didnt no what else to do, my friend told me it might help. i have been self harming for just over a yr and half now, and its a little out of control now as i cut at least 3 times a week. I dont know why i even cut in the first place or why i do it, i feel like no one cares about me, i feel like the whole world is against me, and sometimes i hear voices in my head saying negative things telling me to do it. My emotions are messed up and the cutting is getting worse. My parents dont know that i cut, only my close friends, they try to help but it never seems to work. I just wanna know if there is anything i can do? Im lost, confused and depressed..... xxxxxxx
Sam
Hi there,
Thank you for your letter and well done for contacting me for some support.
It sounds like youre feeling really worried and low at the moment. It also sounds like the voices that youre hearing could be pretty frightening. Often self-harm can be a way of coping with our emotions are getting out of control. I can hear that youre not sure what made you self-harm in the first place or what is making you do it now. It might be helpful for you to have a think about how long youve been feeling like this and whether anything happened or changed perhaps before these feelings started.
You could try keeping a diary of the times when youre feeling like cutting yourself. If you write down whats been happening leading up that point, and what youve been thinking, it might make it easier to figure out more about what is causing these feelings. Sometimes being aware of what is getting you down, can help you then to work out what might help to change things. Writing things down might also help get rid of the urge to self-harm.
There are lots of different things that can help people to stop self-harming and different things can work for different people. Some people finding talking about their worries, writing them down or drawing them can be good ways to get their feelings out in a different way. Other people find doing things like listening to music or exercise can help to distract them from these feelings until they pass.
There are also lots of other ideas on the Self Harm pages in Explore that you might like to take a look at, selfharm.co.uk is another website worth visiting.
You said that you have told your close friends and they have tried to help you, so it sounds like they really care about you, which is great. I can hear that it doesnt feel like their help is working right now. Different people in our lives can give different kinds of help. When times are hard, well often need support from more than one place. Im wondering what it might be like for you to speak with an adult you feel that you trust. Your school nurse or GP should both be very used to supporting young people who self-harm, so you could consider talking to them too.
Alternatively you might like to explore things more in confidence with a ChildLine counsellor. They wont pressure you into doing or saying anything you dont feel ready for. If you did want to talk to a ChildLine counsellor you could call on 0800 1111 (all calls are free and dont show up on the bill) or log in for a 1-2-1 chat (it works like instant messenger).
Take care,
Sam
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