Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Self harm and eating disorders

Hi sam!
my name is K*. I have been self harming for about 5-6mknths now and having being eating properly for a while.i often skip meals, sometimes all I have during the day is a bag of crisps and a slice of bread. I also self harm a lot, but don't want to end my life.
I started doing this because I am being bullied. I have been bullied for 7 months now and have had enough of it so I just take my anger out on myself and punish muzy self. I'm to scared to tell someone like my parents or get help Incase they judge me and I don't want other people to know as the bullied might found out and bulling me even more.
What is the best way to tell someone? And how do I help myself from not self harming and trying to eat better?
thank you
Ask Sam


Hi K*,

Thank you for taking the time to write to me about this. 

I can tell that you’re having a very upsetting time at the moment but it’s good that you feel able to talk about what you’re going through. I’m concerned to hear that you’ve not been eating very much and that you’ve been self-harming. It seems like you’re doing those things to try and cope with how you feel about being bullied. It isn’t your fault that people are bullying you. I can hear that the way other people are behaving is making you feel bad about yourself. 

You asked about the best way to tell somebody. You’ve made a great start by telling me about it. This is a really important first step and I’m wondering whether you’ve thought of writing a letter to somebody you trust. From what you’ve explained, you’re feeling unsure about letting anybody else know about this and that’s okay. 

You can choose when the time feels right for you to let somebody know about it. It might be useful to have a think about the sort of things you’d like to say if you were going to tell somebody. You could make a list of people who you think you’d like to speak to. It could also help to start keeping a record of what’s been happening and who’s been doing the bullying so that you could show it to somebody if you decide you want to. How does that sound?

I can hear that you’d like to think about eating more healthily. This is a really good idea. Not eating enough can be unhealthy and make us unwell. You can find out more about healthy eating by making an appointment to see your doctor or a nurse. There’s also information on the NHS website that explains how to make sure you’re getting all the different types of food your body needs to keep healthy.

We have more information about self-harm and how you can stop. There’s also a section about getting help with stopping self-harm on the Young Minds website

If you get thoughts about self-harming, it can be useful to try and distract yourself by doing something else. This might be drawing, reading, writing, listening to music, taking a bath, exercising or another activity you enjoy. 

I can tell that it took a lot of courage for you to get in touch and I’m glad that you feel able to tell me about what’s been happening.

I hope you get the support you need - you do not have to go through this alone.  Remember that you can always talk things through with a ChildLine counsellor.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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