Ask Sam letter


To Sam


My mum is having a baby and I think I will be forgotten what advice do you have any advice
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for being brave and sending me your message. It’s good that you are able to share how you are feeling about your mum being pregnant. You’re not alone in feeling this way. It’s really common for children to worry that they’ll be forgotten when a new brother or sister is born.

Looking after a new baby takes a lot of time and hard work. When the baby is born, your mum will need to give him or her lots of attention. Babies are totally helpless when they are very young. They need someone to do most things for them, including feeding them, changing their nappies and clothes, and comforting them when they cry. All of this means that your mum might well have less time for you when the baby is new. That doesn’t mean that your mum will love you any less, and it certainly doesn’t mean she will forget about you.

Having a brother or sister in your family will be a big change. It’s important that everyone in your family, including you, gets a chance to get prepare for these changes. Perhaps you could consider talking to your mum about your worries, so that she understands how you are feeling just now. 

On a different note, being the older sibling means you get to be a huge part of the baby’s life. You might want to do things for your mum, or help her care for the baby. That way you may feel more included and it could give you a way to spend some time with your mum. As your new brother or sister gets older, you might want to spend more time with them too. Once they are a few months old, you can play simple games with them, like blowing bubbles and pulling silly faces. You might even be lucky enough to get a smile from him or her!

Remember, there will also be lots of advantages to being the older sibling. For example, you might get to stay up a bit later than your brother or sister, you’ll be more independent and you’ll know more things that they do!

Remember you are very welcome to get in touch with a ChildLine counsellor to talk about this more. You can do this by logging in for a 1-2-1 chat, by calling 0800 1111 or by sending us an email from your ChildLine account.

Best of luck,


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