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To Sam

please could you help?

Okay, so about this time last year i fisinshed couselling and i didnt feel that it worked as i came out of it still feeling depressed, self harming, binging and starving, dringing and taking drugs. at first i didn't quilfy for help eventhough when the mental health cousellor came to see me i was in hostpital for trying to take my own life my dad then found me couselling privatly and although i told my family that it worked it never i tryed to cope with all my problems on my own and it did work for a bit however i'm now starting to binge and stave and i've drank and done drugs these last couple of weekends and im feeling the urge to self harm again, however i dont want but i also dont want to tell my family that im feeling this way i think its apprent that im not truly happy. although they dont know the servity of it.... what should i do?? can you please help me ? many thatks
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Sometimes counselling can be seen as something that will fix everything, when in reality it doesn’t usually work like that. Counselling can help, and it can be one part of your journey towards change, but it has to come at the right time. Just because it didn’t change everything all at once, it doesn’t mean it can’t help you move towards changing things.

Counsellors and therapists want to help people, but they’re only part of the solution. A lot of the time you need to be ready and in a place where their support is going to be useful and that’s not something you have much control over. If it’s not the right time for you, then that’s okay – this isn’t your fault. Although it may not be the right time for you, it can still help you take some steps towards change.

Change can often come in small steps – so small that maybe one step to another isn’t really noticeable, but when you look back at how far you’ve come then you can see a big difference.

It might help to think about what feels right for you and what kind of support you'd like to have. Feeling confident about yourself can affect your choices too, so perhaps try our tips for building confidence and self-esteem.

It can also help if the people around you know as much as possible. The more your family and counsellors know, the more that they can help.

Talking about difficult feelings is hard. It might help to think about what’s really stopping you from being open with your family – understanding this first can help you to know what to do next. Sometimes drinking and taking drugs can feel like a good way to distract yourself from how you feel, but you might find that it makes you feel worse afterwards.

If you want help with talking to your family or your counsellor you can alwaystalk to our counsellors. They're here to listen, and can support you cope with self-harming, suicidal feelings, eating problems or anything else you'd like to talk about.

I hope this helps to make things clearer for you.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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