Ask Sam letter


To Sam


My mam dies two years ago and I'm scared to talk to my dad and I've got loads of female relatives but how do I ask them and especially since I don't have it yet
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for your letter and well done for writing in to get some support.

It sounds like you’re worried about starting your periods and you're a bit unsure who to talk to about it as you no longer have your mum around. I’m not entirely sure what questions you have about it but we have a page about puberty which may answer some of the questions you have. There's also a really popular section of our message boards about puberty for girls which might help you.

I understand that talking to people about things to do with our bodies and puberty can feel really uncomfortable and hard to do. Periods are a natural part of growing up for any girl and nothing you should feel ashamed about.

It is perhaps a good idea to keep some sanitary towels or tampons (whichever you decide to use) ready for when you do start your period. Maybe talking to an adult about that would be a good idea. Schools sometimes also keep some spare ones in case they are needed.

I can hear that you’re feeling particularly worried about talking it through with your dad. Maybe you're feeling more comfortable with the idea of speaking to a female relative. I can hear how stuck you feel about what to say - it might be a good idea to first have a think about who in your family you would feel most comfortable talking to.

Once you know this, you can begin to think about what to say and when to ask. Remember that they would have gone through this themselves, so there is a good chance they will understand that it can feel embarrassing.

If you wanted to practise any of this with a ChildLine counsellor first or talk through more about what it might be like then you’re more than welcome to. You can do that by calling on 0800 1111 (all calls are free and don’t show up on the bill) or by using our 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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