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To Sam

People online

There's a guy I was talking to online. He said he was a teacher...  Aparently he is a single father too. He talks to me and makes me feel good about myself, but recently he has been saying things that's making me feel uncomfortable. I said hi once and he told me he was in the bath and sent me a winking emoji. This is where I started to feel uncomfortable and confused. He has said other things but at first I just thought he was being sweet. I'm so confused and don't know who to talk to so I just wrote this here. Please help me
Ask Sam


Hi there,

The internet lets us talk to lots more people than we ever could in person. And sometimes that can be very exciting.

The problem is that people can very easily pretend to be someone they’re not and also use the internet as a way to exploit and abuse people. It can be dangerous and it's really important to think about staying safe online.

It’s quite unusual for adults to want to be friends with people a lot younger than them. There might be adults in your life who you consider friends and this is absolutely fine, but usually these are people you know well and can trust. While not every adult online is trying to hurt you, there are signs that someone is not what they first seem, so looking out for those is important.

The first sign is that even though they are a lot older, they often talk to you like you are their age or like they are yours. There are boundaries that an adult shouldn’t cross with a young person and when they start talking about very adult things, like sex, then it could be that they might be trying to get something from you that they shouldn’t be.

The second sign is if they start to be very flirty or start to be overly nice to you. Again, not every adult is bad and sometimes adults will say nice things to you. But when it’s someone online who has no other connection to you, it’s important to question the things people say and do. It can help to read our info about online grooming.

A good idea is to tell an adult you’re talking to that you’re going to make sure that the adults who look after you (like your parents or carer) know that they are talking to you. Anyone with good intentions will be fine with this – if they want you to keep your relationship secret, this is a huge warning sign.

This particular person seems to be saying things that are no okay, so I would think about blocking him and making sure he is not able to contact you. If you wanted to talk that through with someone then you can always talk to one of our counsellors about it.

Take care,

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