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Hi there,
Nobody has the right to control you, put you down or make you feel bad about yourself in this way. What hes doing sounds like emotional abuse and relationship abuse. Its not your fault that its happening.
You believe that your boyfriends behaviour has been triggered because you cheated on him. However, that doesnt mean that he is allowed to be emotionally abusive in this way. Youre taking a lot of responsibility for this situation because you feel guilty. Your boyfriend isnt allowed to punish you by making you feel bad about yourself. You deserve respect.
After somebody has been unfaithful in a relationship it can take time to build up trust again. Its important to decide as a couple what will help with this. Both people in the relationship need to feel comfortable with this. It doesnt seem as though youre happy in the relationship now, and you have the right to leave.
You said that your household is trying to control what you do and it sounds as though you really want to escape because it all feels too much to cope with. Im not sure what your age is, but it could help to get some legal advice about your rights from the Childrens Legal Centre.
When you talk about going into the service, Im wondering whether you mean social services and going into care. If you want help from social services, you can get information about their contact details by looking on your local councils website. There should be a section on there for Childrens Services. Social services try and help families stay together, but they can also give support so that things can get better with you and the other people in your household.
You dont have to try and cope with this on your own. You could think about talking to somebody at your school or college, or your doctor. You could also talk to a ChildLine counsellor. There are people around who will want to help you through this so that life can start to feel better.
I really hope that you get the help you need.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
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