Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Not being honest with My Support Worker

Hi Sam,

im currently a 14 year old and at the moment I'm having regular meetings with a support/youth worker and If I'm being totally honest I'm not being 100% honest with her.

At the moment I'm finding it hard to open up to her. I know I can trust her and I know everything's kept between us too but for some reason everytime I try to open up I seem to just back down. I'm not able to tell her how I'm truly feeling,I'm not able to talk to her about my self harm and which she doesn't know about. I'm not able to tell her the situation at home and school/friends etc. I know if I don't open up I'm not gonna get the help I need,and the whole reason I'm having these meetings is because I need help.

Also I'm not wanting to jump to conclusions but I think I may have bi polar and I know I can't say I have intill I have a digniose of it by my doctor and a trained medical staff. I've been able to open up to one of my friends and that wasn't easy and he has bipolar and he thinks I may have it too,as the symptoms etc match.

i was just wondering if maybe you'd be able to help me or give me any sort of advice to be able to open up to her and tell her the situations and the way I'm feeling

Thankyou X

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. You’ve done the right thing getting in touch. I think you’ve shown some great self-awareness and maturity in your letter, and although you say that you’re not being totally honest with your support/youth worker, you’ve done really well to be honest in your letter to me. Well done for that - it’s a really brave thing to do. 

I get the sense that you’d really like to speak openly and honestly to your support/youth worker, but something seems to be stopping you. You’ve got a lot going on at the moment. It sounds as though you recognise it’s important to be honest in order to get the help you feel you need. You definitely deserve to get the help you need.

I can hear that thinking you might be bipolar is also a worry for you. I think this is something you seem to have given a lot of thought. You’re right that you need to speak to a doctor or trained medical professional about this. There’s some information about speaking to doctors on our Visiting your doctor page if you want to have a look.

Some young people also find writing down what they want to say helpful. You could then take what you’ve written to a meeting with your support/youth worker. In the meeting, you could either read it out loud, or pass what you’ve written to your support/youth worker for her to read to herself. You’ve explained yourself so well in this letter, so writing it down might be really useful. 

Or if you’d rather speak to your support/youth worker, and you have a lot that you want to say, then try making a list all of the things you’d like to talk about. Perhaps you can talk about them with her one at a time. Doing it this way may make it all seem less overwhelming. It might make it easier to open up.

You could practise what you want to say in the mirror first. You could also practise want you want to say with a ChildLine counsellor

It can be really difficult to talk openly and honestly about what might be happening in our lives, but try imagining the end result. You might feel a sense of relief, or as though a weight has been lifted off your shoulders once you open up. That could lead to you getting the right help. 

Thanks again for your letter, and I hope this helps. Remember, ChildLine is always here to support you with whatever happens. You can speak to our counsellors whenever you need to by calling 0800 1111, sending an email or logging on for a 1-2-1 chat.

Good luck and take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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