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To Sam

not being confindent

When im at school and the teacher ask me a question I go bright red like a tomato and then I go really quiet I say an answer. Then everyon e starts to laugh at me then after the lesson they all laugh at me and call me names then my friends dont want to be called names so they join in with the name calling. So can you please help me build my cofidence up please I dont want to be the laughing stock at school.
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Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

It sounds like you find it really difficult when you are singled out to speak in class and that could be really hard for you.

You have told me that people laugh at you and call you names afterwards. It's not okay for anyone to do that. It sounds painful for you that your friends join in with the name calling. Perhaps you could think about letting them know what that’s like for you. You might also like to think about telling a teacher what’s been happening. Calling someone names is a type of bullying, and it’s not your fault that it happens.

I can hear that you feel it might be easier to cope with feeling embarrassed in class if you could be a little more confident. You might find it useful to have a look around our Feelings and emotions page. It has some ideas for how to cope with feeling embarrassed. It also has some tips on how to build confidence and self-esteem.

It's important to remember that you need to be patient, and allow your confidence to grow and build over time. Usually, increased confidence is not the type of thing that happens quicklyk, but when it happens slowly over time it's more likely to last.

If you would like to talk more about ways to work on improving your confidence or anything else, you can do that with a ChildLine counsellor. You can talk to one of them by phoning free on 0800 1111, logging in for a 1-2-1 chat or by sending them an email. I hope you have found this reply helpful.

Take care,
Sam

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