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To Sam

My Maths teacher and school.

I am a 15 year old girl and I have recently been having a rough time at home due to me and my mum arguing all the time and it wasn't till recently that I started speaking to my maths teacher. Since then he has been really supportive, I speak to him about most things like arguments between me and my girlfriend or when im just feeling low and need a chat etc, I see him as a farther figure and i cant really talk to my dad, he gives me really good advice only my girlfriend is acting kind of jealous and saying i fancy him, he is around 50 and he knows that she has been saying this, i have a good connection with him and find it really easy to talk to him about anything and my whole year group keep saying im obssessed with him because i see him quite often, he knows about these rumours and I just dont know what to do, im worried he will get into trouble but whenever i try to explain to anyone that i talk to him they say i fancy him wich is not true, i like him yes but i dont fancy him or love him!
when i think about what everyone is saying and how to tell him it makes me feel really down and my girlfriend has been saying i have to choose between him or her and that she is going to report him but when i say why she just says im being defensive and she wants me to talk to someone other than him and she doesnt like him very much, i feel if i dont talk to him or anyone else then im going to go back to how i was and i isolated myself and at some point caused damage to myself...
what do i do??
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

It sounds like you have built a really positive, trusting relationship with your maths teacher and it’s good to hear you have his support. It sounds like people around you are reading more into the relationship than there really is. It could be very difficult for you to cope with the pressure from your girlfriend and others in your year group. I can hear that the way the people around you are reacting is having a big impact on you, making you feel down and worrying about what it might be like for you without your maths teacher’s support.

It’s not okay for anyone to make judgements about your relationships or to pressure you to change those relationships. Finding someone you can really trust to talk to is very valuable and I can hear that he has helped you to cope with life at home.

I’m wondering whether there could be a way to explain to your girlfriend how important it is to you that you have your maths teacher’s support in your life. At the moment, it feels like there is nobody else supporting you in this way.

You could also think about talking to your maths teacher about what’s been happening. It could be useful for him to be aware if people are threatening to report him and he might have some ideas of the best way to deal with this. Perhaps your girlfriend could sit down with you and your maths teacher, so she can hear what things are like from his point of view as well.

You’ve shown a lot of courage to write your letter to me and I want you to know that you can always turn to ChildLine for support. The counsellors are always there to listen and support you. You can speak to a counsellor by phoning free on 0800 1111, by 1-2-1 chat which is like instant messaging or by email, whichever feels most comfortable for you. I hope you find this letter helpful.

Take care,

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