Ask Sam letter


To Sam

My favourite musician has died

Hi Sam. I’m 13 and recently one of my favourite music artists has died and I really am struggling to deal with it. I tried to talk to people but they say I’m silly cause I didn’t know him personally but it has really made me upset and I need some advice.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Losing someone we care about can be really hard. If a friend or family member dies people around you will usually be aware of how upset you are. If it's a celebrity or someone you didn't know personally, it can be harder to express yourself as others might not realise you’re grieving. Being open about death and your feelings can make things easier. Often, what you need most is time and space.

When someone dies  there are lots of different feelings someone might go through. Most people think of sadness when they think about losing someone close to them. But a lot of unexpected feelings might come out as well. Anger, relief, shock and anxiety can also be very common feelings when trying to cope with someone's death. There's no right or wrong way to feel. Some people might not feel anything - that's okay too.

When a celebrity dies, you might be reminded of their death in lots of different ways. The news and social media might be talking about them a lot making it difficult for you to escape from those thoughts and feelings.

It's really important to try and face your feelings of grief instead of hiding them away. Often grief is something you need to work through and won't really go away if you ignore it. Pushing feelings down can mean they come back stronger and in unexpected ways.

Everyone deals with death in their own way. Talking about the person who died can help. Finding someone you trust, like an adult, is important as you'll need to feel comfortable talking to them. Try talking to them about how it felt when you found out the person died and what it's been like for you since then.

Writing a letter to the person who has died is also a good way to get your feelings out. Even though it can never be read by them, writing it can help you share anything you wanted to say to them.

And it's always okay to talk about this with a counsellor if you'd like to share more.

I hope this has been useful, thanks for writing to me. Take care.


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