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To Sam

My dad passing away

hey im 15 in really struggling at the moment with my dads passing every night i seem to sot down and cry and i cant talk to my mum cos shes stressed enough because of my two younger brothers ....things are really difficult for me and i could do with some advice

thankyou x

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

It’s OK to cry and to feel sad when someone close has died. You might experience lots of different emotions and worry about how other people are coping too.

Coping with the death of a close family member can be especially difficult and it’s likely that lots of things in your life will change. Everyday things might remind you of them - like missing seeing them when you wake up in the morning, not being able to say goodnight or an empty chair in the living room. Although your family are probably having similar feelings to you they might not express them openly or in the same way.

Talking about your dad dying can help work through how you feel. If it’s hard to say out loud, you could try sending your mum a message to start the conversation. Let her know that you’re finding things hard and you want to spend some time with her to talk about what’s happened. You could also talk to other people who knew him too - like family friends, grandparents or cousins. Sharing memories can give you the chance to remember him and also to laugh and cry together.

Connecting with other young people who’ve lost a parent or a close family could help you to feel less alone. You can use the Childline message boards to post about how you feel or to get ideas from others about ways of coping. Talking to other young people here might help your to feel less isolated and give you ideas about how to talk to your family about your feelings.

Feeling strong emotions can be tiring and you might sleep more and want to rest or nap when you feel overwhelmed or exhausted. Remember to take care of yourself. Although you might want to hide away, it can help to do your usual activities and to stay in contact with your friends. Routines, like going to bed at the same time, getting dressed in the morning, having regular mealtimes and spending an hour or two on your school or college work during the day can help you feel safer when lots of things in your life are unpredictable.

If you want to talk to someone about how you’re feeling and different ways to cope, Childline counsellors are always here to support you.

Take care,

Sam

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