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To Sam

My bad life on a good world

There's a secret about me that I don't tell anyone. My mum is in a wheelchair, I forget what she has because I never bring up and haven't done in years but I think she said it's like multiple sclerouses (MS). Since she's not able to do anything for herself (almost) me and my brother are tasked with doing he chores every day, every week, every month and every year. We both have gotten to a point when we just can't stand her, she's our mum, we love her to bits but she hasn't been a mum for 6 years, and we haven't been her children. We've just been careers. This is what leads to the constant sad tone around my house. One of my other catastrophic issues is my education, I want a good one to put it simply. But I'm just bad at everything. For the last year I've pulled my boots up (my 15 year old size 4 boots, another issue. I'm a midget)  and done quite well. Or so I thought. Straight D's and an E in maths. I want to be a pilot when I'm older, RAF pilot that is. You need a B in maths. I'm pelting through these maths worksheets like machine gun fire and getting nowhere. However, I did get the highest mark in set 5 maths and was oddly moved down to set 6.
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Sam

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to me. It sounds like things are really difficult for you right now. I can hear you love your mum a lot but the responsibility of caring for her is feeling like a lot of pressure at the moment. You said it’s a secret, which sounds like it might make you feel lonely.

It’s understandable if things feel too much sometimes, and it sounds like maybe feeling this way is making you feel down about yourself and about school right now. If you’re worried about your results, it might be helpful for you to talk to your teachers about how they can support you. They might be able to help you to see how you are making mistakes, how you could do things differently and perhaps help you to appreciate the things you do well a bit more too.

You clearly want to do well and it’s great that you are so motivated. It can be really hard to focus when we have a lot on our minds. It’s possible that if things felt a little better overall your school work might feel more manageable. It might be helpful to think about ways that you can make time for yourself. Perhaps make sure that you are spending time every day doing something that you enjoy, like taking a walk or playing a game. Even if you aren’t able to spend much time doing it, you may find that it helps lift your mood a bit.

You might find it help to have a look at Young Carers, a website with advice and support for young people who care for others. Our Young carers page also has options for support and advice for young carers. Remember that our counsellors are always here for you too. You can call on 0800 1111, send an email or log on for a 1-2-1 chat.

Take care,
Sam 

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