Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Coming up to Christmas has been tough for the last 4 years as my mum died four years ago and each year it gets harder I can't sleep and don't even feel like going to school..
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Christmas is often a time when we spend time with family. It can feel like it's supposed to be a happy time, but when someone important to us is missing Christmas can be difficult.

It’s natural to have lots of mixed emotions when we lose someone close. Everyone experiences grief in a different way. There is no right or wrong way to feel at any point, and you may find that some days are harder than others. Knowing where you can get support and knowing what things can help you to cope might help you through the times you find difficult.

It can feel really sad to know that your mum isn’t there to celebrate Christmas with you, but it can help to think about the times you had together in the past. You can remember the happy times by:

  • collecting together some photos
  • looking at special gifts from your mum
  • writing down some memories of the good times.

If you are feeling creative, perhaps you could draw some pictures that show your time with your mum. You could write some poetry or a short story. You could even write some letters of things you would like to say to your mum.

Some people find it really helps to talk things through with someone they trust. For you this might be someone in your family or one of your friends. If you don’t feel able to do this you can get support through ChildLine. You could also look at Winston's Wish, which has helps grieving young people. You may also find it helpful to see other young people’s experiences through the ChildLine message boards. You can also read more advice about when someone dies here.

Take care,

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter