this is my first time trying this talking thing. i have ocd and i dont know what to do about it dont want to tell anyone, so please dont give me the advice to tell a parent or something. anyways i believe if i touch something with a certain thought in my head then it will come true. i repeat things over and over again so they dont come true. they are true . the only sad part is they come true like the other day im like if i close the frigde dont open it then my brother will have a seizer and infact this morning he got a seizer im freaking out what do i do
Sam
Hi there,
Thank you for your letter telling me how things are for you.
I can hear that you dont feel ready to talk to anyone yet about OCD and thats OK. No one is going to make you do anything you dont want to do. Well done for finding the courage to write to me about this.
You say this is your first time trying to talk about this. Talking about feelings can help to get things out into the open and I think you are really brave to be able to do this.
It sounds like whats troubling you most is the idea that when you touch something with a particular thought in your head it will come true. When you talk about your brother having a seizure I can hear that you were really scared that you might have caused it. It was actually your brother's brain that was controlling his seizure, and there is no way that your thoughts could have made it happen. I get the sense that part of you knows that already, but the other part of you is having a really hard time believing it. It sounds really worrying and tiring to be trying to fight your own thoughts all the time. Im not medically trained, so I cant tell you whether or not you have OCD, but what I can hear it that the way you feel is upsetting you at the moment. That makes me think it would be really good for you to get some support.
I know youve said you dont want to talk to anyone right now, so perhaps you could start by finding out a bit more about OCD and what might happen if you did get diagnosed. An organisation called OCD-UK has produced a useful leaflet about OCD for young people. OCDaction are another UK based group who have a specific website about coping with OCD at school. There is also some useful information on the Young Minds website about OCD and the support thats available for young people.
You might find it helpful to hear about other young peoples ideas and experiences. There is a section on the website called the Messageboards where you can talk to other young people and get advice. You can also look at the Mental health message board and either write a new post or read what other young people have said about their experiences of OCD.
It may help to talk about your feelings in more detail and you can do this with a ChildLine counsellor in confidence either by 1-2-1 chat or by calling ChildLine on 0800 1111. The counsellor wont tell anyone else that youve spoken to them, unless they think your life is at immediate risk. So its a safe place to try out talking about your worries out loud and thinking through some options.
Hope this helps.
Take care,
Sam
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