Day by day i seem to be less and less confident in myself. Other issues in my life have been putting me down and i can barely ever raise my hand to answer questions in class. I'm clever but thats the only good thing about me - i have unruly blonde hair, permanent panda eyes and a big nose. I get angry a lot and after i do explode, i go back into my shell and dont come out again until im angry. Ive been drawing a lot but i end up writing my feelings in big letters around my page and somethings my subconcious comes up with scares me.
Sam
Hello there,
Thank you so much for your letter.
I think you have done so well to write to me to tell me just how much of a struggle things are for you at the moment. You have said that you are becoming less and less confident about yourself.
You say that there are other issues in your life and that you feel angry a lot and it builds up until you explode and then you end up retreating back into your shell. Some people find it helpful to talk about their feelings before the explosion. ChildLine is here to help you express yourself in whichever way you feel able to and will not judge you.
From what you have told me in your letter about drawing, it sounds like a positive way for you to express yourself. You've said that you also write those feelings down around your drawings. On the ChildLine website, there is a creative tool you can use to draw pictures and add text. You can save the picture in your locker if you have a ChildLine account, and you can show your drawing to a counsellor during a1-2-1 chat if you want to. Accounts are easy to set up, and free.
You can talk to a ChildLine counsellor by phoning 0800 1111 which is free from most phones including mobiles, or you might like to try having an online chat (like IM).
I wonder if you have thought about looking through the ChildLine Message Boards where young people post anything that they would like to talk about and then other young people support by replying to your post. There is a section/thread on the Message Boards entitled Self Esteem that you might like to check out as well as a section on the website called Buildling Confidence and Self esteem.
I know that it may have taken a great deal of courage for you to ask for help, I think writing to me is a brave first step to getting further support. I hope you continue to find ways to express yourself and find the most comfortable way for you to talk through your feelings when you feel ready.
Take care
Sam
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You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
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