Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Leaving a counsellor

Hi, there has been this problem that has been upsetting be horribly, and it might seem very weird but, I really miss my old counsellor who used to call for counselling sessions weekly. Today was our last session today and I havent stopped crying since, she was a really nice person and was the only person I felt that understood me, and now I feel so heartbroken because I cannot really contact her anymore after today. If you can, can you please give me advice on how to get rid of these feelings? thank you

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Moving on is a part of life and it's something you'll do lots of times you get older. At school, we leave teachers behind and sometimes we lose touch with the friends we've made. Even when pets die we have to move on. Coping with this isn't easy but the more you do it, the more you learn about yourself and how you deal with losing someone or making big changes.

Counsellors are there to support and guide you through coping with difficult emotions and thoughts. The relationship between people and their counsellors can feel very close, so when the counselling has to come to an end, it’s sometimes hard to let go. This is especially true if they have really helped you and you don't want that help to end.

Although relationships with counsellors can be close and trust can form, they’e not there to be a permanent friend. Therapists and counsellors are professionals and their job is to work with you for a limited time. Outside of work, they have friends and family that form part of their own private life. It’s hard to see this because if a counsellor is good at what they do, it can feel like they’e the only person who really understands you - but that's not necessarily the case. A counsellor is often there to help you understand yourself. They can help you understand your feelings, and your decisions about what to do next.

Sometimes, just thinking about the difference they’ve made to your life can help you to move on. The changes you’ve made because of them is something you're going to keep. Just because you won't see them anymore it doesn't mean you'll forget everything you've learned from them. Remembering this can make you feel like there's a small piece of them with you. Another way to think about it is to wonder what life would be like if you never moved on. You’d never meet new people or have new experiences and that would be really sad. If that happened, you might never meet the next person who could have an impact on your life.

I hope this has helped you to understand these feelings and cope with them better. If you need to chat, our counsellors are there for you to talk to.

Take care.


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