Ask Sam letter


To Sam

its my friend...

Well...basically I'm worried about  my friend..she self - harms. She hasn't had the easiest life.. she doesn't see her mum or dad and lived in care for a bit.. but now she lives with her mums friends family and their children. She cuts because of her family issues.. and she gets bullied at school, she moved to my school around 3/4 months ago and shes like my best friend! She gets bullied for a stupid reason but I dont know what to do anymore.. everyone in our year knows she cuts.. the school know and she does counseling, our school are against bullying alot.. their apparently meant to be sorting it? but I know it isn't helping because she said there's this boy who's mean to her as well..but ive never met him, she says he says disgusting things but i dont see how I can help when she won't tell me stuff.. I used to be depressed and I cutted, I stopped in my own ways but I want to help her but I dont know how.. she thinks of suicide. She said she didnt see the point in breathing but then later on always insits shes fine. She watches depressing videos on suicide and sad things.. I know its more serious than people realise.. I some times get annoyed she doesn't talk to me properly,  and I should know shes having a rough time..I don't know who to tell on how bad this is becoming?
Ask Sam


Hello and thank you for your letter.

I can hear how worried you are about your friend and you’re trying your best to help her but now you’ve reached the point where you don’t know what else to do.
Supporting a friend through difficult times can be really tough and frightening. When we have worries about someone that we’re close to and care about it can feel like a big responsibility to cope with on our own, but you’ve done the right thing to tell someone else.

I imagine that some of what your friend is going through may have reminded you about your own past experiences of feeling depressed and the ways that you’ve been able to manage what was happening for you. Sometimes just telling someone that you’re there for them can mean a lot.

I’m concerned to hear that your friend has thought about killing herself. This may be hard for you to hear but you’re not responsible for what your friend decides to do and if someone gets to the point of trying to end their own life they need adult support to help keep them safe. If there’s ever a time that you think she might be in danger, it’s okay for you to ring 999 straight away and tell them as much as possible.

I can hear that sometimes you get annoyed when she won’t tell you stuff – this sounds frustrating and it may be that she’s feeling some of this frustration too. It can feel upsetting when someone close to us won’t accept our help or support and you’ve tried talking to her but it seems hard for her to open up. Often it can be difficult for someone to start talking about how they’re feeling and maybe finding the words to explain to you is hard or she could be worrying about how you might react to what she says.

It might be an idea to think about which adults you’d feel able to talk to. You’ve told me that your friend has counselling at school - it would be okay for you to talk to someone there if you wanted. This might be a teacher that you trust or the school counsellor, for example.

It’s important to remember that when you’re supporting someone else that you can talk about how you’re feeling too. ChildLine is a safe place for you to do this. You or your friend can talk to a ChildLine counsellor in a 1-2-1 online chat, by email or by calling us free on 0800 1111.

It’s taken a lot of courage to write to me - you’re being a good friend and ChildLine can be there to listen to and support both of you.

Take care,


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