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To Sam

its all piling up

Earlier today my dad left us. My grandparents are coming soon so I don't feel as bad as I did the last time he did this but I still miss him. Every time he does it I feel like running away. I wish he wouldn't but how can I say that to him when I know that every time he goes he really misses me and within a month he always comes back all sad but he always arrives at about midnight and it makes me feel as if I am unwanted.
Plz reply it will mean the world to me.
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Sam

Hi,

Thank you for your letter. I can hear how much you miss your dad whenever he leaves. You’ve told me that it makes you feel unwanted when he goes away. It seems like you believe your dad is leaving because he doesn’t want you. I want you to know that it is not your fault that your dad chooses to leave your family. You are never to blame for the choices your dad makes.

You say you wish your dad wouldn’t run away and you’ve asked how you can tell him that when you know he always misses you when he goes. It seems really unfair that your dad keeps going and coming back like this. Your feelings about dad running away are really important and you have the right to share those with him if you would like to. You have expressed your feeling very well in your letter to me. Have you thought about writing a letter to your dad to share with him how much you miss him and how you feel when he is away? You could tell him about the thoughts that you have and tell him that you feel unwanted.

I can see you are looking forward to your grandparents arriving. Are you able to share with them how you feel? Maybe they could help you write your letter to dad.

You told me that whenever your dad leaves you feel like running away. I’d be really worried about you doing that. It’s very important to think about your safety, because running away from home is a dangerous thing to do. Would you consider talking to one of our counsellors if you are feeling like running away. The quickest way to get in touch with them is by calling 0800 1111 (it is a free call). The counsellors could talk to you about what’s making you want to run away and could help you think of some safe options for dealing with what's worrying or upsetting you.

Take care,

Sam

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