Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Is this right??

I have known this guy for over a year and now he seems to notice me a lot more. He is a player but I seem to like him and sometimes he acts like he likes me. The problem is that he pays attention to me normally with sexual comments which doesn't seem right but I ignore them then ignores me filling me with self doubt and I've seemed to delevlop anorexia by feeling not perfect. I don't know what to do because sometimes he acts like I am in a relationship with him and that I have no choice then the next day he ignores me. I feel emotionally abused and always feel hurt. Is this right and part of life or not? And if not how do I get out of it? Please help me I don't have anyone to talk to about this

Ask Sam


H there,

It’s wrong for anyone to treat you like this – in fact it's abuse. No one has the right to make you doubt yourself or feel bad. Making sexual comments that leave you feeling uncomfortable isn’t okay, and getting mixed messages from someone you like can be confusing.

Healthy relationships are always about 2 people, both as equal as each other. You always have the right to say how you feel and for your thoughts and feelings to be respected. I want you to know how important you are - you've got the right to make your own choices without feeling pressured or controlled.

You are right to question this relationship. It’s important to listen to yourself, because when things don’t feel right it can leave you feeling hurt, confused, or unsafe. Worrying about what might happen if you tried to end your relationship can feel scary and talking to someone who cares like a trusted adult, teacher or family member can help. You always have the right to end a relationship that you are unhappy with.

Feeling self-conscious and lacking in confidence can feel overwhelming. There are different ways to increase confidence and self-esteem and it’s about finding what works for you. Take some time to be kind to yourself and to see the good in yourself.

Anorexia can develop from stressful things and it can be dangerous. Our message boards are a place for support and there’s an organisation called Beat that supports young people with eating disorders.

Childline counsellors are always there to support you. Talking about how you feel about your relationship can help you to work out what you’d like to happen next and they can support you with this.

You are never alone, we are here for you.

Take care,


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