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To Sam

In a car

I was waiting for my friend at the bus stop and I saw a man drive passed me and look at me funny, I thought it was coz I was wearing my onsie and then he turnt round a corner stopped at the corner and started at me for about 10 seconds and drove off then he came back round and  stopped Infront of me and said where are you going, and I said no where, he was like do u need a lift, so I said no thank you I'm fine and he kept saying are u sure but then he drove off. I saw my friend and told her but then we stopped talking about it. I didn't tell my parents coz I didn't want them to no, but I got scared to sleep and told them and I felt like they didn't really care because I woke them up. So what do I do how do I stop being scared. 

Thank you

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Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for writing in about what happened to you. I can hear it has left you feeling scared, and you’ve done the right thing telling people and asking for advice.

I’m really concerned to hear that this man followed you like that and offered you a lift when he didn’t know you. It’s very wrong of an adult to do that and to make you feel scared. Well done for saying no. You did absolutely the right thing – it would have been really dangerous to get in the car with him.

Sometimes when something happens and we didn’t expect it, it can feel like quite a shock. Often a shock like this can cause us to feel anxious. We can find ourselves continuing to feel scared for some time afterwards, even though the shock is over and the thing that scared us has gone away.

You did the right thing telling your parents, and I hope that they will take this seriously. It sounds like when you told them about it, they were more focused on being woken up at night. Sometimes in the middle of the night, people can’t really focus. I wonder if things might go better if you told them again during the day. Then they might understand what happened better. You deserve to be protected.

I would also suggest that you contact your local police station (the number to call for this is 101) and let them know what happened. They will probably want to know as much detail as you can give, like what car the man was driving and what he looked like. Don’t worry if you can’t answer all the questions. They are there to help you. You could also tell an adult you trust, like a teacher, and ask them to contact the police for you.

If you have a mobile phone, make sure you always carry it, and keep it charged. Then you can call the police on 999 if you ever see this man again. The police are there to help you if you ever feel unsafe or in danger. You mention you were at a bus stop - if ever something like that happened again, it could help to shout out to someone else if there are other people around, or you could alert a bus driver.

For a while, you might find it helps you to feel better if you make sure you go out with someone else, so you can avoid being alone. This could be something that your parents, family or friends help you with. Any time you are out and feel unsure or scared about a situation, you can always call ChildLine for free on 0800 1111. We’ve often kept someone company on a walk home, so please feel free to do this.

It may also help to talk more about what happened, maybe to a friend or trusted adult, and how it’s left you feeling. It can be really hard if you feel scared, and sharing this with someone can help. You can also read about ways you can manage feelings of anxiety, fear and panic, so that you can calm yourself down when you feel afraid.

Take care,
Sam

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