Ask Sam letter


To Sam

I'm too scared

Note: We have changed a few words in your letter but the meaning has not changed.

I got bullied on social networking sites and as a result of this, I started to self-harm. At first I cut myself then I found other ways to do it. I really don't want to tell my mum because she has way too much to worry about already. I've told a couple of my friends but I don't want to tell a teacher either. What can I do?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter telling me about how you started coping with the online bullying by self-harming. Many people tell me that they use self-harming as a way of coping with their feelings and emotions. 

From what you say, it seems like you are concerned about self-harming and have thought about telling your mum or a teacher. It sounds like you've decided not to tell an adult - but you also feel stuck and you're not sure how to move on. I want you to know that you have taken an important first step by telling me in this letter. 

You don’t mention if the bullying is still happening. It could be important to get support with this too. You might want to look at our page about bullying on social networks for some advice and tips.

There are many alternatives to cutting which might help. For example, there is the elastic band technique, where you wear a band around your wrist and ping it against the skin. This feels a little like the pain of cutting. Some people draw cuts on their skin using a red washable marker. It is important to find the one that is right for you and it could be based around a hobby or interest you have. We have more information and tips about self-harming and other coping techniques that you might like to try.

Many young people find talking to a ChildLine counsellor can also be a good distraction - especially when they feel the urge to harm themselves.

If you are ever worried about your cuts, if they are deeper than normal or if they keep bleeding, it’s important to know that you can get help by speaking to an adult who you trust, a nurse, and doctor or by phoning 999 for an ambulance in an emergency.

If you would like to talk more about yourself harming or about the online bullying, you could talk to a counsellor at ChildLine

Take care,


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