Ask Sam letter


To Sam

im gay

i am 12 years old i know im gay i have not told anyone but i dont want to in case it changes the way i am treated. i currently h ave a boyfriend who i love very much but i have kept that a secret from him too please help me.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. You've been very brave to write to me as it sounds like you’ve found it very difficult to talk to anyone about this.

I can hear how you feel sure of your sexuality but really unsure about telling people because you’re worried it will change how they act around you. Being gay can still be very difficult to be open about for some people. It’s hard for me to say how telling people will go as it depends on the people. We have some information about sexual orientation which I hope you will find useful.  

You'’ve mentioned having a boyfriend but you'’ve kept something secret from him. I can'’t tell from your letter if you'’re a boy or a girl - I'm really sorry, but I'm not sure from what you'’ve said what you'’ve kept from him. However, I do know that it can be really hard work keeping secrets and having to always watch out to make sure you don’'t slip up. You clearly want to protect this information about yourself. What I can hear is that it’s difficult for you to fully be yourself. That can be difficult to cope with.

You don'’t have to be alone with this. You might find it helpful to talk through your situation and worries with one of the counsellors at Childline. They won’t judge you and I know that this is something they often talk to young people about. You can ring them for free on 0800 1111, log on for 1-2-1 chat or send an email.

You might also find some support from other young people on our message boards. There might be a thread that you can look at with posts from other young people who have been in similar situations to you or you might want to start a thread yourself.

Take care

Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

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