I have been diagnosed with anorexia and are currently undergoing treatment. It is going ok, but as a result of this I was off school for a number of weeks before gradually going back,
Now I am back full time however it feels like I don't know anybody anymore. I have some people who I talk to, but it doesn't feel comfortable talking to them as I feel they are judging me.
At lunchtimes my Mam is trying to get me to sit with them, as currently I go to my Gran's house, however I feel uncomfortable with this as I think they are watching what I am having.
This has made me feel very lonely and I don't feel that there is anyone I can talk about it to - I try to put on a brave face to others and pretend that there is nothing wrong.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Sam
Hi there,
Thanks for getting in touch and letting me know how things are for you at the moment. It's really positive to hear from young people who have been able to get help with difficulties they face. I'm glad that you are receiving support to recover from anorexia.
Its important you know that you are not alone and many young people find they have a lot to overcome when recovering from an eating disorder. Many people find things like school life, friendships and relationships can change and feel different. Just as you have been able to take the first steps in making sure you are healthy and safe, you can also be supported with rebuilding these other areas of your life.
Its completely understandable that after some time out of school and time away from school that you would feel uncomfortable returning. You have also said you feel you are being judged. You havent said if anything has happened to make you feel this way, but I'm wondering if perhaps people at school have some questions about what has been going on for you and why you have been away from school. It would be completely up to you but sometimes taking to others and letting them know a little could help to take this uncomfortable feeling away and help them to understand you a little better. You only have to tell people as much as you're comfortable with.
Many young people at some time feel uncomfortable, lonely or judged, so you are not alone with these feelings. It might help to have a look at B-eat. This website has lots of information on recovering from eating disorders, other young people's stories, message boards where you can seek support from other young people and find out what helped them with difficulties like these. They also have a helpline where you can talk to experienced people about eating disorders. The number is 0845 634 7650.
You have also said that your mum has been asking you to sit with the other young people. Im wondering if you have been able to talk with mum about how you feel judged and if talking this feeling over a bit with your mum would help.
You are also very welcome to sign up for an account and talk this over with a ChildLine counsellor. There are lost of ways to do this. You can send a ChildLine email, have a 1-2-1 chat or phone us on 0800 1111 (calls are free and won't show up on your bill).
You can also look at the Eating disorders message board and leave a message if you'd like support from other ChildLine users.
Take care,
Sam
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