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Hi there,
Self-harm can be really hard to stop once you've started to use it as a way to cope. Whenever we try to quit a habit or something we are addicted to theres often a pattern that we follow. Sometimes that pattern can mean you relapse. If youre trying to stop then you should always aim to never harm again, but its important to also understand and forgive yourself if this doesnt happen exactly as you planned.
Relapsing when trying to quit a habit or addiction is a very normal part of the process for many people. You shouldnt expect to relapse or aim for it, but if it does happen then it is okay you havent failed. Its just one more step towards ending it for good.
You talk about letting your friends down and breaking your promise to them. Sometimes we can try and change for the benefit of other people and this can often end with us struggling to stick to the promises weve made. If you can think about and recognise the reasons you want to stop for yourself, you can use these to remind you why you dont want to self-harm anymore.
Having your own motivations for stopping means youre more likely to go through with it. Try making a list of reasons you want to stop. And try and make sure these are not about other people wanting you to stop or pleasing others. Its important you find reasons to stop for you. Check out our self-harm coping techniques.
I hope this helps, but remember you can always talk more with a counsellor about self-harm if youre looking for support.
Take care,
Sam
You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.
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