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To Sam

I think I love my Therapist?

Um ever since I was 11 I have had really messy relationships. I started seeing my first psychologist about a year ago, and have had three in total since then. I get really confused about my feelings towards them, because I find it difficult to tell the difference between me trusting someone, and wanting to be in a relationship with them. Should I tell her, and be honest? Or would it make things too awkward...?

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Therapists, counsellors and other people who help us through difficult times can become very important people to us and we may feel close to them. But it's important to remember they can't be anything else outside of that professional relationship while they're still helping us. It's okay to say how you feel, but it wouldn't be okay for them to act on your feelings.

It's natural to have feelings like this for someone who you've shared such a difficult time with. But if your therapist does share those same feelings then this could be a problem and impact the way they help you. We'd encourage you to come back and talk to Childline if they do share those feelings.

There's a reason we go to a therapist or counsellor, instead of talking to friends or family. Having a specially trained person who isn't involved with our personal lives can be really helpful. But in the same way that there is a limit to how much our friends can support us emotionally, there's a limit to how friendly a therapist can become. As long as someone's working with you in a professional way, they need to stay within that boundary to provide the best possible support.

I'm glad you've shared how you feel with me and wrote this letter, if you need to talk to one of our counsellors you can do this online or on the phone.

Take care.


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